honesty is a privilege we should all exercise when we have the ability

I had a friend come out recently, everywhere.

I’m proud of her, but above all, I am grateful. You see, while my inner family, my chosen family knows?  I am still not in a position to be freely open with who I am, especially regarding being polyamorous and owned.  I wish I were- but I cannot risk the safety of my family or my very tentative financial security (only ever so recently gained!)

Thankfully, it is okay for me to be queer now, among my circles.  At least among any community that I will ever care about or belong.  The bigots will never understand anything.  But they do not speak for the majority.  I don’t have to hide that part of me.  It helps that I can be open about pieces. (Oh, I suppose some will secretly judge and some will even gossip, but they would never say anything to my face, nor publicly, they know they’ll be vilified if they do.  And if I find out, I’ll cut them out unless I’m forced to interact.).

I hope one day I can be in her position, but for now I am grateful that she is making it easier for me one day.

Some of us are lucky to have an environment in which we can be honest with our loved ones.

My munchkins have taken to lying as they do with breathing- at their other home.  They sometimes lie to me, because they’re so used to it.  We tell people honesty is the best policy, but not all of us have the freedom to choose such policy.  If you do?  Be grateful for your privilege, and don’t abuse it.  Don’t lie when you don’t have to.

I don’t blame people who lie and cheat, when they are in an unsafe environment.  It isn’t popular.  It’s one of the last places it’s okay to victim blame.  “They should just leave if they don’t feel safe.”  But that isn’t always an option.

If you can be honest, be honest.

Because not everyone has that luxury.  Those who cannot, need those who can.  It models a possibility.  It teaches hope.  So, I ask of you, if you are so privileged, please be honest so that one day the rest of us may be able to freely join you and make the world a better place!

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