This is one of those topics I’m more than happy to engage in a dialogue—because this is my life– but I’ll try to explain here, in simple terms. I won’t go into too much detail or down any particular path, but only “What 24/7 means to me.” Because it seems to be a matter of confusion, even within the kink community.
“But a lot of concepts are confused in the kink community.”
Fair enough. But at least I can address this singular confusion.
I don’t know where this idea came from, but it annoys me: This idea that 24/7 means I’m wearing a latex maid outfit, steps dogged by my master’s bullwhip, Every. Single. Moment. That I’m obligated to wear a leather collar with studs to work. That I’m always in the midst of a scene. I really don’t know. I do know that some people find it “overwhelming” or “exhausting.” You know what else is exhausting? Life. I still choose it every day.
I’ll say this: Living an immersive/intense/Instagrammable lifestyle, day in and day out, drains you. It takes a physical, as well as emotional, toll. I’ve seen people age, visibly, in as little as six months. They get addicted (easy enough). Then they drop from the scene (never to be heard from again.) It’s disappointing to lose friends that way, but not uncommon.
I am 24/7, but I’m not constantly kinking it up. Most of the time, in my relationship with my master, I’m curled up next to him, playing on my phone or watching a movie. Or we’re walking about a new city. Or enjoying an afternoon tea. Or working together on our latest projects. Or just…working. A lot of working on boring work stuff.
“Then you’re not really 24/7.”
I’ve heard that argument applied to parents with split custody, or even parents that work. If you’re not with your child every single moment, you’re taking time off from being a parent. But that’s not how it works. When you’re a parent, you are a parent 24/7. You never get “time off.” Even if you aren’t physically with the child (same as if the child is at school, and you are at your office), you are always on call.
That’s what it is– it’s about being on call. I am always my Master’s kitten. Always. Sometimes my kittenish personality simmers below the surface. Sometimes it rears to its full five foot three (or four or even five on a good day). It depends, you see, on the environment. If you look closely, you can always tell I am a kitten. I can’t hide that. But I do tone myself down as needed. Such as not calling him Master in a public restaurant (I hardly ever do that anymore I swear!)
The contrast, of course, is the “only in the bedroom” folk or those who primarily engage in kink through “scenes.” I rarely do scenes, for what it’s worth. It’s not so much my thing. But it is a valid expression of kink. And some 24/7 kinksters also do scenes. It’s a matter of preference.
Whenever a household decision needs to be made, or a trip arranged, or my Master wants something intimate for me, that’s the 24/7 relationship.
I click right back into submissive mode. I would do it all of the time, except that I tend to regress into “little” mode as well, and I don’t like doing that around just anybody. There’s a trust that lets me flow into my submissive nature, without reservation or hesitation.
I don’t want to deal with the drama. Vanilla life is judgmental. It blinks its eyes at me if I veer to far off the proper path. It insists that I wear clothes that fit the environment. It insists that I act like a proper grown up. When I’m with my parents. When I’m handling a meeting with prospective clients. I keep any evidence of my kink life far away from those “vanilla bubbles.” It’s annoying, but it’s hardly the end of the world.
Of course, I speak for myself here, but I speak freely.
I do know that I haven’t met a single self-described 24/7 dynamic where the persons involved are continuously whipping each other until they crash on the floor, only to pick up as soon as they awaken. I can’t say that has never existed anywhere. Maybe that is what it means for them, but this is what it means for me.
Do I wish I could freely and brazenly call him master all the time? I don’t know. I might wear kitten ears in public, maybe even a latex collar (actually, I’ve done that, but only in certain neighborhoods). But that isn’t what I crave. No, what I need is the space between us, connecting us.
I enjoy the intimacy created with something shared– almost– just between us. Alone.
When we’re alone at home. Or, perhaps observed, by another kitten or a friend, but whoever it might be, they are safe. I am safe. I am absolutely and utterly me.
During the day, I am a proper Kitten. I don’t display my claws or purr. Though I am always a Kitten, sometimes I exhibit my “kittenness” in more socially approved means.
But in the evening, when it’s my inner circle of trusted friends or me and Master, I breathe a sigh of relief. Every moment I can be with them, I live the way I want to live. 24/7.
Or as close to it as I can get!