why i stay polite to strangers

Photo by Dzenina Lukac from Pexels
  1. who does it hurt?
  2. it makes me feel better to not drop to the level of the person being nasty to me
  3. i don’t see hierarchy in people, not in that way.  If I treat my life partners and best friends with respect (and sometimes I fail, but I try my best), than I should be the same to someone I don’t even know.
Look, everyone can do as they will. 

I won’t tell them they can’t do something, but I refuse to be bullied into responding to every Jack and Harry that sends me an insulting message on Fetlife.  

It’s not my job to do that, and I have plenty of other responsibilities to my businesses, friends, family, munchkins.  I basically have twenty three dependents at this point— and only one full-time responsible parent managing it all alongside me— and it will only get worse in the future.  I can’t raise total strangers to have good manners.  

“But if someone is rude to you, shouldn’t you be rude back?”

Why do I need to talk to them at all?  I don’t understand this idea that we need to address every single instance of incivility.  It feels like a waste of time.  It IS a waste of time.  I can move on and save my energy for helping someone who is doing their own little bit of good in this world.  Support them, acknowledge them, contribute to them.

Spend an extra hour that day writing, rather than tediously responding to idiot messages on social media and educating them on how to properly reach out to a woman for a first message.  

Moreover, it only makes you look bad. 

Every time I see some asshole stepfather disrespecting his partner’s kids father as not their real dad, implying they are just some sperm donor, I feel a twinge of disgust TOWARDS THE PERSON SAYING IT.  Regardless of the validity of the statement. The kids’ mother may be, well, I won’t say here. But she does deserve a minimum of respect, if for no other reason than I have too much respect of herself than to treat her any other way.  I don’t want to be brought down to her level. Let their actions speak for themselves.

I will not automatically give validation and I will criticize when I feel it’s warranted, but I never resort to name calling and petty insults.  Because I want to be better than that.  Because I want to be treated better than that.  If I need to fall to that point, there is always the block function.  Block, delete, ignore. 

It is not rude to not engage. 

Sometimes I feel that annoyance that makes me want to say something, take a deep breath— and don’t do anything at all. Yeah, I have vents with friends, even with my friends at large on Fet, Kik, and other semi anonymous communities.  I say things within those safe places that I won’t necessarily say elsewhere.  

Sure, I can be judgmental as fuck. But I am unfailingly polite.

…because nothing pisses off the people who hate you than your smiling face offering kind words 🙂

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