on demisexuals and “little strings”

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya from Pexels

According to Google, a demisexual is

a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form
strong emotional connection with someone

I suppose this is in contrast to those that can sleep with “anyone.” Visually stimulated folk. Attracted to a picture, with no connection whatsoever. Basis of the porn industry.

…but be careful. Don’t presume all those guys wanking off to porn star images have no feelings or connections. Those girls at the strip club? They have personal stories. I mean, they are fake stories, but they all have names and bios. What’s the point, if it’s just about their tits and ass? I suspect a lot of those patrons want to feel these are real women. They want to know their background story. They want to feel like they know a woman. Not merely her body, but her mind.

They want a connection. However slight, however shallow.

My master remarked to me once, “I don’t believe in no strings attached, but I believe there can be ‘little strings.’”

I think it takes a little string, even a slight wavering tendril, between two people to connect them in a relationship. It may not be a Relationship with a Capitol R, but it is still a relationship. And there are strings, however weak.

We so often have these “little strings,” between us…even before they are “real” enough for us to recognize them. Even the most casual of relationships is based on something, however slight. We may pretend those strings don’t exist, because they are too small to be easily noticed; yet those strings still tend to trip us up. Because they are there. Even if just that annoying loose hair on our shoulder that bothers us until we brush it off.

They may not be the strongest feeling, but they are still feelings.

I suspect it is a “little string” that brings us together in “casual” relationships, in the first place. I believe being in the same place, intimate or not, cultures “little strings” and oftentimes grows them into more of, well, strings.

I wonder if we do not weave those tiny strings, ourselves, to create a connection out of “nowhere.” “Oh, her eyes are so beautiful!” We almost need, crave an actual feeling to accompany our attraction, as we tell ourselves “eyes are the window to the soul.” Therefore, this attraction must mean a little more, because we noticed something “real.” Of course it’s not very real, but it’s something.

Oh, and I guess, in a very, very rare situation, there -may- be no strings at all– as in, oh, my attraction to Chris Hemsworth, or more accurately, Chris Hemsworth as Thor. My “attraction,” I think, does not count as “real,” in this context. It’s all based on the lies he so convincingly portrays, but lies, nonetheless. Otherwise known as “acting.” Plus, he’d have to have the beard and red cape, or who cares?

…anyway, this idea of little strings is just a theory. What do you think?

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