one lazy afternoon with my girls, OR why i need a ‘safe space’

I show up, mid afternoon, with a bottle of strawberry margarita mix and a box of donuts.

I don’t know all these girls. I don’t even know if they are all girls, aside from 1) the assumptions I’ve been conditioned with my whole life that says “This person ‘looks’ like a girl,” and 2) my friend called this a “Girls’ Night.” At least one is non binary. But it’s okay that I don’t know their names, identities, etc. Because I know my friends, and I know they wouldn’t bring anyone here who wasn’t someone I could be myself around. And I’ll learn about them, and, perhaps even get to know them better over time. Beyond anything else, I’m looking forward to sitting and luxuriating in all the feminine energy!

Semi-quarantine during Covid is a funny time to meet people, you might say. It’s true. And I don’t often. But when I do go out? It’s almost always gotta be something like this. Where I don’t have to mind my p’s and q’s (whatever the p and q stands for, anyway.)

I can just be…me.

Some of us, perhaps, are lucky enough to have had/have this our whole lives. Wherever we go. I am sure some of my vanilla-presenting friends are, indeed, as happy as they say. As comfortable floating through life, as I am, in my trusted little bubbles. I do not hold this against them. But it may be hard for someone who “fits” to understand what it means to “not fit.”

But, here, among this group of girls, I feel safe. And I just don’t feel this way in proper society. It’s not even much different, to be honest. Nobody’s pulling out their floggers and dragon tails. Only -one- girl is in a unicorn onesie. Everyone’s (nearly) fully clothed. Nobody came here to play. Tonight isn’t about that. It’s about being among like minded folk. Open, reassuring, creative, etc. All the things I love best. That’s all.

I don’t even want play, not tonight.

If it happens, it happens. But tonight, it doesn’t, and I’m perfectly okay with that. I needn’t even be kinky to be welcomed by this very lovely group. If I were very modest and vanilla, nobody would care. Nor would they care if I were Super Kinky Woman.

We just eat donuts and drink wine. Mention the latest penis we’re dating (with pics!) and also how nicely the paint came out in the new house. Or try on cute clothes during an impromptu fashion show. And, yes, I do mean flashing penis pics at each other. Okay? These things happen.

More than, that, however, I can cuddle up to my girlfriend, whilst casually referring to my other partners.

Nobody blinks. No curious glances. No lengthy explanations and spontanous mini Ted talks. We continue to drink wine and eat donuts. And that’s surprisingly refreshing!

Everyone shares a bit about what they are up to these days. I tell them about the munchkins, the castle we’re moving into, the fun little adventures I’ve had…all of it. Without worrying if I’ve slipped up, said too much. Said the wrong thing.

Because all of these girls are “worse” than me.

Or just as bad. Or as awkward, or quirky, or strange…or anything as I am. At any rate, none of us will judge the other. And they practically assume you are kinky, poly, whatever. Which is problematic in its own way, but still, for once it’s nice for the assumptions to be made in the opposite direction (“No, sorry, I’m actually quite vanilla and mono, but I appreciate that you are different from me!”)

Well, -I’m- not mono, but I am, actually, fairly vanilla. Except for the whole M/s/pet play/I’m owned thing. But, like, who doesn’t do that, right? (kidding!) Still, I don’t own a single sex toy that I use (my friend gifted me a dragon tail, but I don’t actually want it used on me/know how to use it. Of course, I may change this in the future.)

There’s not even any qualification here as to who is Kinky Enough or Poly Enough or Non Binary…or…or anything Enough.

When I’m here, I matter to these lovely folk. Just for being myself. No matter who I am or what I say (so long as it’s not cruel or offensive). I am heard, as are they.

I absolutely love and crave this. It’s my self care. It’s how I rejuvenate. With people like this. My girlfriend is here, and my partner joins later in the night (after we open up the evening to the boys and neighbors and such).

So, no, I don’t know these people, not all of them, but it doesn’t matter. Where do -you- go to be among your “safe” crowd?

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