S/he belongs to you for a reason.
If you wish to own a submissive, it must be more than words. More than empty gestures. I will defer, for a moment, to one of my favorite stories on explaining How Adults Work, The Little Prince. The part where the Prince lands on a tiny planet where a lone businessman lives and has a Great Purpose.
“[You own the stars?] How is it possible for one to own the stars?” [said the Little Prince.]
“To whom do they belong?” the businessman retorted, peevishly.
“I don’t know. To nobody.”
“Then they belong to me, because I was the first person to think of it.”
“I myself own a flower,” [said the Little Prince] as he continued his conversation with the businessman, “which I water every day. I own three volcanoes, which I clean out every week (for I also clean out the one that is extinct; one never knows). It is of some use to my volcanoes, and it is of some use to my flower, that I own them. But you are of no use to the stars . . .”
Owning a submissive is more than a label.
It’s funny, but some humans think of ownership of other people the same way as the businessman (and I speak here in context of a consensual D/s or M/s relationship).
Nobody thought of owning this girl first? She’s yours. Nobody claimed this submissive? Write her name on a piece of paper, put it in a box and lock the box. She’s yours. You “own” her now, because you said so, and your dominant aura overwhelms her (even if it’s strictly one or two messages you’ve sent to her inbox). And now it’s on to claim the next one. That IS how it works, no?
And I suppose that is how it works with objects one buys, especially such as a favorite sweater in a sample sale or a piece of art at an estate sale. Touch it, claim it.
But perhaps it works a little differently when it comes to owning sentient creatures (as the rose was sentient in the Little Prince).
Do you wish to own a submissive? Fine. Answer this then: What use are you to your submissive? Slapping her around is one thing, but what value do you provide to her? A rosy warmed bottom is lovely, but does she find it valuable? If so, wonderful. If not, what is your true value to her? After all, you wouldn’t take on someone who had no use to you, would you?
My master owns me. Not by virtue of some code or paperwork. Because he supports me in my life ambitions, as well as takes care of me in the bedroom. Because he cheers me on, provides me that simple reassurance. But more than that he keeps me steady and tells me what I need to hear when nobody else will tell me.
He owns me, yes, but more than that, he protects his property. I feel safe, every day, because (among other things) of him. With his actions, with his way of living. He protects what he owns, because he values it. It’s easy to say you value something, but actually protecting that something is another matter. Outside of the bedroom, and inside of it.
I’ll ask again. What use are you to your slave?
To engage further with this writing, please click HERE! Or find related links HERE. I truly appreciate all comments and loves directed my way, as this provides crumbs for others to find valuable information on relationships, especially in the context of ethical non monogamy!
To find out more about the essentials and beginner’s understanding of D/s, dominance, submission, and more here are some helpful articles! Five Types of Tops; It’s Dominance and Submission, not Better and Worse; What is a Dom?