you never know when they are listening (a gentle word of caution to kinky parents)

Something I saw from a friend,

We teach our littles to be strong, we teach them to be brave, we teach them to get up when they fall and never give up on something they want. But there is a moment, it’s coming for all of us, where they walk confidently away from you. They will walk bravely forward and they won’t look back to you for reassurance.

Author Undisclosed

Do we wish to teach our children to be kind, loving?

to be fearful, angry, hurt?

They hear, even if we think they don’t listen.

they hear everything

Sometimes they parrot it back without understanding

The other day the oldest munchkin repeated something back that I said, only she got the pronoun wrong because she repeated it back too closely, but

They are listening, they validate, they internalize

She says, “Mom says I’m a failure” and I say “I don’t think she would say that,”

“It’s in her tone,” she says, and I cannot argue with that. This is how she feels. This is what she heard.

She says, “Everyone should be able to be whoever they want to be.” I did not tell her she had to say that, believe it, but she sees me practice it. She’s decided she wants to be like that, too. It’s not because of me, I’m sure. But still, she has learned.

They listen when you are happy, but also when you are infuriated and overwhelmed.

They look up to you, because You. Are. There.

…please be careful what you say, not only to them, but in their proximity.

One time, I saw she was watching Spider-Man. “I was watching porn,” Spider Man’s friend says, and of course, “I was watching porn,” she says softly. She doesn’t say any other words out loud when I’m watching her. I don’t even know if she heard herself say those words.

You never know when they are listening.

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