Dear future wife or husband,
I want the party.
It’s not about starting the rest of our lives together.
We’re doing that right now. Every day is the rest of our lives together. Our lives aren’t going to start after the wedding. I’m not waiting until then. I want our lives starting together NOW. Not after a bunch of people buy us biscuit warmers and oven safe dishes from a registry.
It’s not about sharing our lives with our family.
We were doing that before. It’s not like our families suddenly materialized the day of the wedding. They were IN our lives and we knew each other’s families, because it’s normal to get to know someone’s family before committing one’s life to them.
It’s not to prove to people that we’re -really- in love.
I don’t care what they think. You know that I love you. Everyone who matters to me knows that I love you. I know you love me. Everyone who matters to you knows that you love me.
It’s not to make a lifetime commitment.
There’s no such thing. By the time we know it’s for a whole lifetime, we’re dead. But I’m making this commitment to you for today and for as long as I possibly know how. Maybe we live for a thousand years and grow tired of each other. I don’t want you staying with me a thousand more miserable years, because we shared a thousand good ones with me. I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of you, nor do I think you’ll grow tired of me. But I’m not going to use my big, fun party to make an empty promise. Either you believe I’ll be with you long enough to be worth it, or you don’t. It’s as simple as that.
Your very loving future wife