She had the perfect plan.
I…am not entirely sure what the plan was suppose to be. Sometimes I think I’ve nailed it, but when I think about it, it doesn’t make sense. But I am certain it made sense to her.
Truthfully, I’m not good at planning. Ask, well, anyone who knows me. I overthink. I can’t make decisions. I’m not ragging on myself, it simply isn’t my strong suit (despite my outward vulnerability and submissive demeanor, I have plenty strengths of my own.)
I admired her ability to plan.
I can’t, but damn if she could brilliantly! I don’t know why she did it, but I admire her. I can’t tell if she likes any part of her carefully engineered life, though. Her house isn’t that great. The schools are okay. It’s not really convenient for her work (it is for her husband, though, maybe his needs are more important to her than her own?). Her kids chose to move away from her, as the schools, organizations, etc near their father better matched their educational needs and their extracurricular desires. Plus their best friends from their earliest childhoods live very far away from their mother.
But, well, she must be happy back in the home she chose.
I suppose I should leave her be and focus on my own life.
I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. I never thought I’d be so traditional, being the supportive stay at home parent striving to be a recognized artist. I didn’t think this was ME. Which is funny, because growing up, this is what all my friends wanted. Most of them got it. Even amongst my kinky friends, many have traditional wants and needs.
Of course, I wanted to be this free, jet setting creature who explored the world. Only my meandering self finds myself a Volvo driving soccer mom (Subaru, not Volvo, and baseball, not soccer, but whatever). Living in the…gasp!…suburbs. In a “little [box] made of ticky tacky.”
Ah, well, turns out it’s not so bad. I like baking cookies and cupcakes. The munchkins devour the special cookie recipe I make for them, handed down from my grandmother. I’m near a gorgeous botanical garden. I have a huge place to live.
….and I am 100% going to keep up my life in the city and as a free thinking world exploring Kitten! I don’t actually have to give up anything! I’m sure it’ll work out. I am a little better in my planning skills now.