1. I promise to stop allowing toxic people to rent space in my head for free.
I’ve enabled the wrong people far too long. I thought it would be alright. Eventually, I believed, they would move on of their own accord. But it’s almost like they are obsessed with me and cannot let go. I’ve waited years, in one case.
Which means I have to step up and do it myself. Oh, well, I suppose it’s flattering. I think I’ve had enough flattery for the moment.
2. I promise to be kind to myself.
I have messed up in the past. I have not been as loving to myself as I should. This isn’t wholly about me. When I am cruel to myself, I pass that on to others. I am petty, mean, and small. I don’t want to hurt others, even if as my munchkin says, “it’s not a big deal, cause everyone is mean.” It doesn’t make it right. And I feel terrible inside. I want to be a source of comfort, not pain.
3. I promise to enhance the different pieces of myself, slowly, over the year.
I want to be the best I think I can be, or at least visibly better than the year before. I don’t think I can do this all at once, but I will pick one area at a time. Focus on improving that. Then move on to the next bit. Like a lovely, self fulfilling snowball. I am enough as I am, but life isn’t as much fun when it’s static!
4. I promise to make my writing a priority.
I am an author. This is important to me. This is me translating my life into something that can be held and shared. I cannot do it as much as I’d like, but I rededicate myself to writing a certain amount each day. I will make sure that creativity is a constant source of strength to get me through the hard times. Also I am always happy to collaborate and/or mutually support each other’s creative endeavors! Let’s do this one together, please! (only reach out if you know me personally, thanks!)
5. I promise to be more patient.
Patience is a virtue, though admittedly not always my virtue. Still, it is good to strive towards what you want to become. I am far more patient than I have ever been. I will continue to trust that those I love care about me, know that I care about them, and know that I am working in their best interest. No matter what happens.
6. I promise to be grateful for what I have in my life.
I have not always remembered to do this. I will try to say thank you more often, to reciprocate kindness shown to me. Sometimes I am too tired to do this, but even if I cannot do much, I will ensure that I do at least a little. So the person feels seen. That is the least I can do, and I will make sure that is done each and every time.
7. I promise to let the past stay in the past.
It does me no good to wallow in how I used to be treated, what used to happen to me, the people that used to be in my life. None of that is relevant to my current existence. It is not real. What I have now is real. Holding on to such silly matters only furthers my self harm. I am safe. I am loved. Why worry about what happened before?
8. I promise to trust my master to protect me in all matters.
If at any point, I start to slip back into interacting with the people who hurt me, I will listen to him. I will let him temporarily remind me of why he refuses to let me have contact with these people (though I doubt I will ever forget, but my nature sometimes encourages me to forgive those that I should not). I do not need to dwell on it, because I can trust him to always protect me.
9. I promise to make the effort with my friends.
I have retreated into myself, as of late, but I am in such a better place. Moving forward this year, I plan on entirely letting go of unnecessary distractions. I want to use all of my spoons, cycles, and energy to connect either to loved ones or to the amazing unknown folk that I’ve yet to meet. I wasted too much time on those who didn’t deserve it, while neglecting those who did.
10. I promise to take better care of my health.
My body is imperfect, but it serves me well enough. I owe it to myself to take the best possible care of it, so that it can keep me going through many, many more decades! Okay, kitten, daily stretching commences NOW!
11. I promise to not worry about my finances (as much!)
I am petty in that I look at how much others have, in comparison to myself. Some of whom are ugly, miserable persons. Why should they have so much? But it doesn’t matter. I will take care of myself and those around me as best I can, with what I have. I will not feel guilty that I can not do “more.” What I do is more than enough.
12. I promise to love more than I hate.
If something makes me feel hateful, I will do my best to push it aside. To refocus on something else that makes me feel loving, kind, and whole. I will allow myself to slip up, of course, but every time I do– I want to immediately fill myself with some kind of love. Loving is something that comes easily to me. I should do that more! Why try to be something you are not that only serves to make the world more bitter? Be lazy, kitten, when it means making the world better!
13. I promise to try new things at least once a month and to read one new book a month.
I realize for some this is easy, but I am a comfortable kitten. I tend to fall back into habit. I reread the same books, and rewatch my favorite series. The last decade hasn’t been easy. I’ve compensated by clutching to my routine as if my life depended on it (which perhaps it has!). Still, I think I can spice things up a bit, without worries! Allow myself to take a few new risks.
I am quite eager to see what this year has to offer me!