sexuality is not trendy

Two Young carefree Woman in stylish sunglasses, striped pants. Beautiful fashionable model girl in trendy summer outfit. Graceful friends with fashion ... See More By evgenij918

dear stranger,

Perhaps you’re the sort that thinks polyamory, transgender, bi/pansexuality, etc is “trendy” and “fun.” I can’t say I disagree with you, entirely.

Yes, I can see how someone who lives a more traditional life may see it that way. It’s quite fun to be able to express ourselves, freely, without expectations or boundaries. Yes, it opens my possibilities to be bisexual (someone who is pansexual is even less limited than myself!). But there’s nothing wrong in being straight, cis, or happy in a traditional married life, either.

When I grew up, I though being queer was limiting. But now I look at my trans friend, and I love how she can dress however she likes. It’s almost like, having had to aggressively define her sexuality and gender, she no longer gives a fuck about what anyone thinks of her style. There’s a certain freedom to that.

Yes, it’s also freeing to be able to jump into bed or fall in love with someone else, regardless of my romantic status. I may have to work a bit harder in my relationships, some days, but, hey, everyone has to work hard at something, right?

I’m asking this one simple thing. Please, stop saying it’s “trendy.” Stop acting like it’s something a person just “fancies.” It doesn’t feel envious; it feels a little insulting. I’m not doing it to join a trend. This is my life.

thanks kindly,

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