she gave me a view from halfway down

Has anyone ever given you a view from halfway down?

I hope not. What I mean by this is, has anyone shown you what your life might look like if you made the wrong choice? Lived it in front of you? While you watched them every step of the way towards their own downfall?

Well, what’s wrong, after all? No such thing. But there is such a thing as the choice that leads you to a place that feels like your own personal hell on earth.

That’s where she is now. Trapped in a hell of her own making. And the truth is it could have been me. Or could be me in the future when I have children “of my own.” Everything she did was based on the best wisdom she could access. What her friends and family told her should work.

I’m sure she’s very confused right now. I feel sorry for her. It should make sense. It should work. But nothing is working out the way she thought it would. Not just the little things. None of it is working at all. It’s like she’s waking up in the Matrix.

At the same time, I’m grateful to her. She never had to give me this gift; I certainly wouldn’t have done it for her or anyone else. She wasn’t worth it to me, and I’ll never know why I was worth it to her. Ah well, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

She didn’t teach me how to be a perfect mother. But she wholly taught me how to be an imperfect mother and what most to avoid. A lot of parents never get that. Their kids move on, and they never know why.

And nobody even knows, because they were never given a view.

Nobody else has ever given me a view from halfway down before.

What a fascinating view.

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