what I want in a metamour

Continuous one line drawing of two girls walking. Concept of sisters share togetherness and love. Vector family and friendship metaphor. By ngupakarti

Women seem to either want both my master and I, or want to come in between us. That’s how it’s pretty much always been.  Occasionally, he’d “date” a woman (I use quotations as it was about as loose a term of dating as exists in this world), but I’d not so much as meet her.  Then there was the evil psycho ex.  Is it possible to have an ex metamour who was never a metamour?

Still, I’ve always pictured my perfect metamour. Should she one day exist in my life.

You see, I’ve always thought it would be lovely to have a sister. Someone with whom I could share confidences, or at least get our nails done together!  

If you want to date my partner, here’s what I hope:

I want us to be able to speak freely with each other.

No, I don’t expect us to be friends. It would be nice, of course, but I have very good friends in my life. If you aren’t interested in me, I have other options that require my attention. I can’t afford to waste time with someone who is only doing it to satisfy some unknown and unconfirmed social obligation.

I expect that when you have an issue with me, you talk to me.

I expect that if you are curious about me and think we might have shared interests, that you can talk to me without being super weird and awkward about it (some weirdness and awkwardness totally acceptable!).

I want us to be respectful of our shared lives.

Your time with my partner is important, as is mine with him. Trust me, if you could steal away his time and affections from me, you wouldn’t want him. He’d only break your trust in a few years, for someone younger, thinner, wealthier. Whatever caught his fancy. Fortunately for you and I both, he isn’t like that.

I want us, if you grow close to him, to share our own affections.

Romantic, platonic, I don’t really care. I only know that if you grow to love him, you’ll probably want to be involved more than on the sidelines. And that inevitably means we’ll spend more time together. I’d prefer that some of that did not have to involve him, guiding us along like a master with two puppies (or in this case, most likely two kittens). I don’t want us to have to need him always!

I want us, should it be necessary to part ways, to do so amicably and with mutual respect and trust.

To be able to say, “Hello,” should we see each other in passing. You needn’t feel obliged to engage in a lengthy conversation on global warming or sexual exploits. But it would be nice to be acknowledged as more than a stranger.

If you think you can do that for me, I welcome you as being a lovely addition to my partner’s life. With any luck, to mine as well! But, again, that is neither a requirement nor an expectation.

You see, not being a negative influence is good enough for me, I promise you! It’s just, well, I’m a bit greedy and always want more. I just don’t ever want you to think you owe it to me!

Thank you in advance from a grateful kitten!

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