it’s rarely too late, but you can never get back time: princess carolyn addendum

I wrote how it’s rarely too late, except for you can’t get back time.  But I wanted to add a bit to that.

Yes, I’m going to revisit Bojack Horseman. #sorrynotsorryitsmyfavoriteshow

At least when it comes to talking about relationships. The consequences of toxic behaviors. And some of what I believe are the true secrets of happiness.

Ah, even in a no holds barred show, there’s happy endings.

In the show’s finale, PC finally, FINALLY, finds her own happy ending. 

She has what she wants. A family. A child. A man who loves her and supports her in the way she needs, allowing her to be the career woman she needs to be.

I’m glad she has a happy life.

But she got it about twenty years late.

It’s a painfully won happiness.  And she nearly loses it all when she lets it go the first time.  She lets Judah leave her life.  Not many get a second chance.  She does.  Fortunately, she doesn’t blow it the second time.

Make no mistake, her life was a direct result of her life choices. She had all the privilege she needed to have what she wants; not every person has this.

In the end, I do think she made the…right choice?  Certainly the best choice for herself. She needed a man like Judah, who was happy being her support and staying home with Ruthie (which by the way, his choice is a FINE one for a man to want).

But I can’t not think about all those years she spent miserable. All those years that she knew what she wanted, but couldn’t let go of her pride. Couldn’t deal with the shame and judgement (yes there is a stigma) of having a stay at home husband. Or perhaps it was she didn’t want to admit she couldn’t go it alone. A “real” woman can handle it all, right?

She can’t get those decades back. The years she wasted on her ego, on Bojack, on every person she tried to “fix,” because she couldn’t handle fixing herself.  Time doesn’t work the other way.

Be careful of the choices you make, please.

I may make mistakes along the way, but at least I’m making them. I’m not wasting my time or my life.

I’m worth more than that. So are you.

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