unicorns & unicorn hunters, the real story! (hint, it’s not a bi woman who dates couples!)

Single white egg, with unicorn decoration; Creative minimal Easter background By hiddencatch

She needs to be

Beautiful, slender, child free but wanting to provide her domly dom with children (her body will, naturally, revert back to pre-child body), available to move near you, experienced in submission, willing to please, an excellent cook– and above all, SINGLE.

He thinks

because he is not seeking a bisexual woman, he isn’t unicorn hunting.

He needs to be tall, fit, experienced in various forms of BDSM, a caring Daddy, chef in the kitchen, master in the bedroom, firm, gentle, rough, whatever the time may call for– oh, and, yes, SINGLE, too.

But s/he’s not unicorn hunting. S/he’s straight!

Look, let me just list for you all the experienced Dom(mes) and submissives I know that have been in the lifestyle for some time, meet all the above requirements, have the time to go to the gym, maintain a strict health conscious diet and do their hair and makeup to the standards you desire at all times, intellectual but also geeky…did I catch most of it? Anyway, um, you wanted that list….and definitely single, right?

I have the list right here, of all the people you want, just give me a minute. Oh, fuck it. If you know this person, wonderful. Please pass the names to me, so I can give them to my unicorn hunting friends.

I know precisely the sort of dream you wish for. Just the other day, I saw this girl met this guy who was hot, chivalrous, geeky, knowledgeable, and, okay, we know we’re all shocked here, HAD A GIRLFRIEND. I know, that kind of guy, having a girlfriend already? We’re all very surprised, I know.

Sure, you’ll very well find your Prince(ss) Charming.

He probably won’t have the time to keep a six pack AND chiseled pectorals AND maintain devotion to your needs and wants 70% of his waking hours.

She probably won’t look like a Victoria Secret model when you meet her, and probably not after she has children.

S/he/they won’t be the perfect size. Or height. Or possess the right income, social status, or degree.

….and if some miracle you do happen across one of these perfect, fantastical creatures? They sure as hell won’t be single, unless they don’t want anyone. In which case, they won’t suddenly swoon when they meet you, honey.

Do as you please. But just don’t be surprised when you don’t find that elusive, scarce

Last Unicorn.

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