I hear some women talking about the men who left them. Some men talk about the women who left them, too. It feels nice. I would like that to happen to me. For my demons to just move on, disappear. Mine like to stick around, for whatever reason.
I don’t know why people complain about it when people they despise leave them. I’d be grateful if the people who despised me left as far away as possible. I don’t really know what it’s like to hate someone. I try, but…it doesn’t feel like what people talk about when they describe hate. I’ve never really understand what about me inspires hate, either. Kitten tries not to worry about it.
I matter; to my master, to the munchkins, to all my loved ones. I am assured my friends are here for me. Their words are beautiful, but their actions speak even louder. It helps me keep moving forward.
I’m tired, though. I think the nicest thing would be to put the world on pause. Take a week, a month, nothing but my thoughts. Imagining black waves, rolling in and out, over a black sea.
I think I need a rest soon. It always feels like “soon” is just around the corner. Next week, maybe even tomorrow. But tomorrow seems rather far away some days.
Too much to take care of. I need to present as calm and confident, because the people near me need to see that. Underneath? I’m a mess. But soon enough, everything will be okay. Mostly okay.
I’ll breathe, knowing that I’ll be alright. Quiet. Peaceful.
And the thought brings happiness.