Not everyone needs a dungeon. But not everyone will need a heart surgeon, either. That doesn’t negate the need to keep one around.
I love house parties, too. But it’s a whole different atmosphere. They don’t replace dungeons.
Perhaps part of the problem is that we don’t understand the value. A few recent events have pushed me to vocalize why I support dungeons and why I believe they need to be a part of the kinky community.
- There’s a place to DO your kink. I know my home, at any rate, isn’t set up to do a lot of play. Certainly I don’t want wax and oil all over the floor in my house. While one still needs to clean up at a dungeon, it’s a lot easier when there’s nothing in the way. (Plus, just the IDEA of oil and wax on my floor will set off my inner clean freak). (Note: Alternatives exist, but you usually need to know someone. Dungeons help provide access to all, and I know ones that are accessible to those with physical limitations.)
- There’s equipment one might not have/have room for/can’t afford. I think certain individuals would ask me if I had a St. Andrew’s cross up, and I can’t afford the collapsible versions.
- There’s an environment that one can observe. I don’t know that much when it comes to non-mental kinky play. I like that I can watch, in person, and learn more. It’s not the same as watching videos or reading articles. It just isn’t. And unless I’m invited into a kinky relationship, I can’t watch personally. Which happens, because I’m also poly/kinky, but what if you aren’t? And it’s just ONE couple at a time, as opposed to seeing many in a night (which offers more perspective).
- There’s a safe place to play (with a relatively new partner in particular, but in any case that you believe requires additional safety measures). This is heavily dependent on the dungeon you choose and who you bring with you (please do NOT assume a dungeon is automatically safe!). But it lowers the risk when you have a crowd of people near you, versus being alone at the person’s house! I know I am experienced enough and can bring enough trusted friends with me that I would feel comfortable playing with someone I haven’t established “complete” trust with (my own personal risk assessment, nobody else’s). Without a dungeon, I would not engage in that. And maybe I shouldn’t, but, well, that’s my risk tolerance. (Note: Some dungeons and clubs provide a safer environment than others, message me privately if you’d like to hear my takes on them).
Well, those are my reasons. I’d love to hear yours!
I appreciate your listening!