It feels…good. Finally.
I woke up this morning and felt good.. Happy, smiling. Feeling as if the world is truly my oyster, and I am its pearl.
I’ve been waiting for it to feel good, instead of numb. Stop wanting to sleep all the time. Forcing myself to do basic daily routines. Instead of stupid, occasional bursts of energy.
It feels good to confess how I felt.
I am turning over a new leaf.
A new home.
A confirmed schedule of when the munchkins will live with us.
A sense of financial security.
A new book to work on.
A whole new group of friends.
…a new everything!
I wanted more, of course.
I wanted overwhelming validation that I’m okay and what I’ve done is enough. All the stupid memes and statuses promoting toxic positivity won’t change the fact that other people told as many people as possible that I’m not good enough, and I never will be.
But it turns out I don’t need other people’s validation. I only need His. Also the munchkins’. Also my chosen family’s and trusted friends.
My cup is, indeed, overflowing.
I am no longer that pathetic, mewling creature that desperately wanted everyone to like her. She meant well enough, but she is no longer me.
I am grateful for all those who are moving forward with me.
Thank you for supporting me in my new life.