It’s important to treasure the little moments. Plenty of bitter, petty, strife filled bits of life. If one doesn’t focus on the good, it’s all too easy to be swamped in the awful.
Sure, it’s silly. But tonight, master, myself, and the oldest munchkin are on a grocery run. We’re out of milk (of course!). Also, I want a few other things. Actual fresh vegetables, fruit, some Annie’s mac and cheese (don’t judge me), etc.
We’re picking out a few cheeses- when I spot it from the corner of my eye. “Rainbow cake!” I let out excitedly. I can’t help it. I don’t really need it. Maybe I don’t even…okay, I do actually want it. But it’s such a splurge. And just for me. I’m hardly going to buy five overpriced desserts from here. This isn’t even Whole Foods. It’s worse. (But we have these coupons and such, so it’ll be reasonable).
Almost immediately, though, oldest munchkin steps up. “You have to get this, Kitty,” in a voice that is not to be questioned. Oh, well, in that case.
So I do. I buy this stupid piece of cake, for no other reason than I want it. And it’s practically a journey for us. And She Wants Me To Have It. Cause, you know, she wants me to be happy. She really, really does.
Yeah, I get mad at her sometimes. Yes, I try to do so less. And I am honestly so much better than I used to be. I wasn’t ever like their mother, but…I had some not great moments that I regret.
But they know I care about them. Even if I’m not perfect. Even if they’re not.
And they really just want me to have the damned piece of rainbow cake.