250th Celebration Post!: kitty begins a new life chapter

It feels…good. Finally.

I woke up this morning and felt good.. Happy, smiling. Feeling as if the world is truly my oyster, and I am its pearl.

I’ve been waiting for it to feel good, instead of numb.  Stop wanting to sleep all the time. Forcing myself to do basic daily routines. Instead of stupid, occasional bursts of energy.

It feels good to confess how I felt.

I am turning over a new leaf.

A new home.

A confirmed schedule of when the munchkins will live with us.

A sense of financial security.

A new book to work on.

A whole new group of friends.

…a new everything!

I wanted more, of course.

I wanted overwhelming validation that I’m okay and what I’ve done is enough. All the stupid memes and statuses promoting toxic positivity won’t change the fact that other people told as many people as possible that I’m not good enough, and I never will be.

But it turns out I don’t need other people’s validation. I only need His. Also the munchkins’.  Also my chosen family’s and trusted friends.

My cup is, indeed, overflowing.

I am no longer that pathetic, mewling creature that desperately wanted everyone to like her. She meant well enough, but she is no longer me.

Last night, I chose to spend a beautiful evening with those who do care about me.  My master; my two friends who have created a new, safe space for me in my community; and even some lovely new friends, including a fellow kitten.  I lay in front of the glowing fire, as the new year began, with my head in the kitten’s lap, and another kitten giving me water and scratches.

How utterly perfect, no?

Thank you, my friends, for supporting me in my new life.

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