my relationship manifesto

This is what I believe and how I practice.  Everyone should be able to articulate their own.  If mine works for you, feel free to steal it (but please do credit and redirect here!)

The Kitty presents:

My Relationship Values

…Every relationship I possess is unique,

and between the two or more people directly involved; and while interdependent and connected, also independent in its own right.

…Every relationship has a combination of romantic, intellectual, emotional, and chemical (chemistry) potential;

and the persons involved may choose any of the above freely, with consent of the other person in the desired relationship.

…Happiness is derived from myself, and not the relationships in my life.  

That no relationship is obligated to make up for my  lack of happiness , although a goal may be for the people in the relationship to contribute to each other’s happiness.

…All relationships need to be nurtured.

In a way that maintains or develops the intensity and degree of involvement desired by all parties.

…No relationship should be taken for granted or held to an “original agreement.”

But rather renegotiated and reconfimed along the journey.  That the relationship agreements should be regularly revisited and all parties allowed to change and grow as the person’s individual needs require.

…Relationships should be nurtured, both as a group (such as a family) and individually (between each relationship between two people, such as the mother and her child).  

This includes date nights for the adults!  This means kids should get one on one time with parents.  And this means each romantic duo ought to have time with just the two of them, nobody else.  

…I, ultimately, control my body, mind, and feelings. 

Nobody else has the right to tell me what to say, or how to feel, although my decisions may have consequences.  Nobody can do that, even if they tried.  And I will not accept anyone who tries otherwise, failing my giving them my prior consent on the matter.

…Both parties must give continuous consent on how a relationship runs, or there is no relationship. 

If the terms of the relationship change, or not favorable to one party, they have the immediate right to withdraw from the relationship, despite there being legal entanglements in some cases, which may take time to wholly disentangle.

…I should forgive and understand others, unless that person proves unworthy.  

Even still, I should treat them respectfully in the limited time I my have to be around that person.

…Relationships are valuable based on the depth of connection and strength of desire.

Rather than on the length of the relationship.  Not every relationship lasts, but that does not mean it wasn’t valuable.  And while I will often place a priority on my longer established relationships, how long we have been together is no guarantee of priority.  Nor do I expect to be given automatic preference simply because I’ve known you longer.

…Relationships come and go, but that doesn’t mean the relationship “failed.” 

It simply means that specific relationship between two people “completed.” It never means the end, until both pass from this world, and even though, we can’t be certain.

…..what are yours?

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