All Kitty’s Musings!

Kitty’s observations & thoughts on how the world worked, works, and might work in the future. Take her cautionary wisdom with a grain of salt. After all, she is a mere Kitten, not a psychologist. But still. She sees things, and sometimes people tell her they’re worth seeing.

Topics include: Polyamory, BDSM, Relationships, & More!

Enjoy, please!

when love is a gift
“What is love,” someone asked me. “You mean being in love, or love itself?” “Both?” Well, let me ponder that. “Being ‘in love’ is an infatuation. At least, it appears so.  It’s used by the same sort of people, in my experience, as those who use phrases like ‘protect the relationship’ or ‘I give 100% …

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sometimes joys of living together, the
I come home most days to a person I love, to whom I’m committed in life and love. I would venture to say most of us do, or hope to one day. Pair-bonding is natural with social creatures; humans are social; easier to bond and share time when you share same space. It’s nice to live with the one you love, or can be. But the writing made me want to puke.
single life isn’t unhappy, the
Okay, so I’m not exactly single. But I do check the “Single” box on my taxes.  Does that count?  I’ll overrule for the moment, and say, yes.  Yes, it counts. Besides, it would be okay if I were absolutely single.  It’s infuriating that society derides the single life.  Oh, Being Single is fine when you’re young …

single life isn’t unhappy, the Read More »

you’re okay, valentine’s day
Dear Valentine’s Day, First off, I apologize on behalf of the humanity who will inevitably poop all over you.  Jealousy that nobody bought them pink chocolates or ruffled cards?  Can’t celebrate a holiday without involving massive amounts of panic and stress? Oh, it doesn’t matter.  No, you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.  Some prefer other holidays …

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[sub] drop IS an actual thing, thanks
Note: It’s possible that doms can experience a form of drop, but this is really about sub drop. I’ve read, time and time again, about sub drop. Which is great that we talk about it. But also— we kinda talk about it like it’s something we indulge in simply because we feel like it. “I …

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polyamory & ice cream
A conversation between myself and someone who doesn’t understand polyamory… “What’s your favorite ice cream?” “Uh, I guess cookies and cream. At least lately.” “Okay, so you only want cookies and cream from now on?” “Uh, no. What?” “If you really like cookies and cream, you should only want 🍪 and🍦.” “I’m sorry what? What …

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poly?  kinky? relationships are just relationships: my vanilla manifesto
I found a pretty solid “how to do vanilla romance.” I modified it every so slightly– and it worked for polyamorous relationships, too! So this is also my Polyamorous Manifesto. This guideline includes no reference to anything kinky; no swinging, spanking, anal sex– “But none of that is kinky!” you interrupt. To which I politely …

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forgiveness culture isn’t bullshit, it’s [my] survival
“I can’t forgive the person who hurt me.” Yes, yes you can. Do not tell me you are weaker than the person who hurt you.
happiness is a choice:  lessons from my mother
I learned many lessons from my family growing up.  I learned lessons from my siblings, from my mentors, from my friends.   The second most important lesson I received from my mother was this:   Happiness is a choice.  At the Las Vegas “Life is Beautiful” festival, the year it first began, I painted this sentiment on a …

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