If you flirt with another?
I’ll happily curl up with you and chat with them about your new crush. If you play games, I’ll grow disinterested and wander off. If you, well, I don’t have the time to list everything you might do. But I’m sure there’s plenty of strategies.
Perhaps you think it’ll make me try harder to keep you. Or that I’ll swoon, as your jealousy warms the cockles of my heart. Jealousy is good, say the toxic TV dramas and the stupid movie plots that rely on love triangles to provide conflict. Jealousy isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s “proof” you are loved. Fine, some people may like that sort of thing. But it isn’t my kink, so please respect that.
You see, what you choose to do with yourself is your decision, not mine. I’d no more feel jealous of another person taking your time, than I would of my neighbor letting a cousin borrow their boat. The boat isn’t any of my business, and neither is how you choose to spend your time. When I say I don’t own you, I mean it. Not your time, energy, emotions, or body.
Of course it sparks negative feelings in me, because I’m human.
Have I been cheated on before? What a silly question. What woman (and for that matter, most men, non binary, etc) hasn’t? But I felt annoyed at the lack of respect and idiocy (I’ve always been non monogamous), not jealous. Or, at the very least, disappointed in my failure to communicate that I wanted honesty. Perhaps it was partially on me, but, nonetheless, what a waste of my compersion!
Was I upset when my dating partner left me when I stayed home one night and he met this new girl at a party? Yes. I felt the loss. Was I hurt when my ex metamour chose her asshole new husband over my partner and myself? Of course. I had, after all, been insulted.
But did I immediately jump to, “How do I win them back?” or “That slut! I’m gonna show her what’s mine!” ….honestly, I didn’t see the point of bothering. The person made it clear, in my mind, that they didn’t want me. Who was I to try to argue otherwise?
So, try to make me jealous. I dare you.
Men question the lack of jealousy. Women try to rouse it from me (and succeed in small part). I went through a recent experimentation with jealousy and snapped at the unfortunate soul who attempted to play games with me.
Truthfully, it’s more funny than anything. You think you can persuade me to leave what I have, by making me jealous of what you’ve got with another girl? I’ll only feel sorry for the girl that you’re using to try to get me.
But go on, do try. Please. Been a little stressed and on edge. Mocking idiots like you will help relieve that stress. I need the laugh.
And, most importantly, I need an excuse to adjust my hair…and nails…and craft that perfect, flirty message to that girl I’ve been eyeing for awhile but just hadn’t had time for…
And it seems my schedule has just freed up a bit.
Thanks!
both babygrrrl and I are jealousy-free…it’s natural for us. What most folks label as jealousy is misunderstanding anyway. It’s not jealousy if you hide/lie/cheat on your partner. It’s not jealousy if you feel “left out”, stake out “territory”, think it’s competition for time or privileges. It’s not jealousy if you’re fearing loss or abandonment. Those can, or are, all issues that come up in Poly, but having truthful, honest, transparent, communication and working proactively for solutions, then they get dealt with as part of a healthy relationship.
So true! I thought i felt jealous in previous relationships, but it turned out I was simply feeling insecure. I don’t feel insecure with my current partner, hence, no jealousy.
Jealousy IS real and can be felt, but it is irrational. Rational feelings aren’t the same as jealousy and can be addressed by fixing the “problem.” Whatever that is.