On Hard Talks

Sometimes Kitty doesn’t feel so lighthearted…

to those who say, “you’ll find them when you stop looking”

“You’ll find them when you stop looking.” I heard those words. I heard them as I was busy in the middle of abandoning yet another project, ambition, etc. I’m notoriously bad at finishing (well, not that kind of finishing!). I’m fine with beginnings. I get excited about new ideas– and then I forget about them. …

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reevaluating, “abused people, abuse people”

Abused people, abuse people. I’ve heard that a lot. It’s easy to find yourself trapped in that mentality. As angry as I’ve gotten at my ex-metamour, I know that she’s mostly repeating what her own mother did to her. This is what she believes love looks like. It’s what she’s known. Abused people, abuse people. …

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plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 3: congratulations, you found your perfect monogamous dom!

Congratulations! Hey, it was tough, but you managed it. You found Him. The perfect dom and monogamous! I mean, how often do you stumble across that? But you caught this one! You found your perfect match. Your one true love (at least for now. S/he is the perfect, monogamous dom(me) who does it for desire– …

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Watercolor hand drawn sketch illustration of garland of green flags with white stripes isolated on white By fuzzylogickate

lessons on “green flags”: pt 2: how do you know if it’s real?

Okay, so you understand red flags, negative traits, green flags, positive traits. You’ve just met the person. Initially, they do something that sets off your spidey senses. They showed up late to your first date, come on! After that, though, they never show up late again and you live happily ever after. Red flag averted. …

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Watercolor hand drawn sketch illustration of garland of green flags with white stripes isolated on white By fuzzylogickate

lessons on “green flags”: pt 1: when someone isn’t who you think they are

Red flags are fairly straight forward. Things you don’t want. Things to avoid. But sometimes we see a behavior and we are sure it means something terrible- but it turns out it was only a big, old, red flag. This person wasn’t trying to isolate you (red flag of an abuser and predator); they just …

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plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 2: where have all the good (monogamous) doms gone?

It seems like monogamous submissive women are having an especially hard time finding a good dominant, monogamous man. (Let’s not even get started on straight, submissive male submissives.) Maybe it was always difficult. But certainly, my single, vanilla female friends seemed to have an okay time finding a guy. Whereas I struggled finding a non …

plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 2: where have all the good (monogamous) doms gone? Read More »

Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

how to avoid a cheater

I’m tired of articles on cheaters. I’ll wait for the shocked gasps to subside, but it’s the truth. It isn’t so much that I think it’s a good thing, but it’s somehow become the worst crime, surpassing neglect or abuse. “I’ll forgive anything, except cheating.”  Heard that time and time again. Worse, it ignores other serious violations, allowing someone …

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Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 1: dear pretty, mono girl

Fyi, this works in reverse for the “pretty” guys, the tall, handsome Chris Hemsworth look alike searching out their one, true, monogamous submissive love.  Switch genders, or even sexes, as you like: Dear pretty, monogamous girl in search of her one true dominant, Remember high school? Maybe you were the pretty head cheerleader who never …

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