On Hard Talks

Sometimes Kitty doesn’t feel so lighthearted…

silly little thoughts of a ptsd survivor

it was your fault you should’ve known why didn’t you say something earlier? why didn’t you do more? nobody would want you, if they knew you you’re ugly, you’re fat you’re stupid, you know that, right? you don’t do enough you’re not good enough just go away, they’d be better off without you don’t say …

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of course there’s a chance they will leave you!

Toxic positivity. Freaking everywhere. I don’t even know where to begin to handle the problem.  I hear a lot of people say, “If I did let my relationship become non monogamous, my partner would leave me.” A lot of people will tell them, “No, no that’s not what ENM is about! That’s not what will …

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if they want you, they want you; if they don’t, they don’t

Nobody wants to feel unwanted. It’s one of the worst feelings, stupid, petty, gross. Doesn’t even have any self righteousness to it, like betrayal. Being unwanted just sucks. Unfortunately, it’s all too common. Dating polyamorously means I end up dating a lot. Or sort of dating? I don’t even know anymore. But whatever it is, …

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plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 3: congratulations, you found your perfect monogamous dom!

Congratulations! Hey, it was tough, but you managed it. You found Him. The perfect dom and monogamous! I mean, how often do you stumble across that? But you caught this one! You found your perfect match. Your one true love (at least for now. S/he is the perfect, monogamous dom(me) who does it for desire– …

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Watercolor hand drawn sketch illustration of garland of green flags with white stripes isolated on white By fuzzylogickate

lessons on “green flags”: pt 2: how do you know if it’s real?

You understand red flags. You’ve just met the person. Initially, they do something that sets off your spidey senses. They showed up late to your first date, come on! After that, though, they never show up late again and you live happily ever after. Red flag averted. Okay, not really. But they mostly show up …

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Watercolor hand drawn sketch illustration of garland of green flags with white stripes isolated on white By fuzzylogickate

lessons on “green flags”: pt 1: when someone isn’t who you think they are

Red flags are fairly straight forward. I’m not very good at recognizing red flags, although I am better then I used to be. Someone said I only looked innocent. The way I dressed, they said. I do like dressing modestly, when I put on clothes. I’m not always good at recognizing red flags, though.  I …

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Photo by Soulful Pizza from Pexels

plight of the straight, female, mono submissive, part 2: where have all the good (monogamous) doms gone?

It seems like monogamous submissive women are having an especially hard time finding a good dominant, monogamous man. (Let’s not even get started on straight, submissive male submissives.) Maybe it was always difficult. But certainly, my single, vanilla female friends seemed to have an okay time finding a guy. Whereas I struggled finding a non …

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Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels

how to avoid a cheater

I’m tired of articles on cheaters. I’ll wait for the shocked gasps to subside, but it’s the truth. It isn’t so much that I think it’s a good thing, but it’s somehow become the worst crime, surpassing neglect or abuse. “I’ll forgive anything, except cheating.”  Heard that time and time again. Worse, it ignores other serious violations, allowing someone …

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