What does poly even mean, right? Almost anything, depending on the person. Kitty defines polyamory as “multiple loves” and applies the term specifically to multiple, committed, romantic relationships (i.e. you are poly IF you have/want/are seeking multiple persons in your life that you refer to as your romantic partners).
She muses whether the purest interpretation of polyamory could be applied to any sort of relationship, whether it’s monogamy, non monogamy, polygamy or any relationship structure. If polyamory could be a way of living and loving, generally speaking, whether you have multiple girlfriends or multiple platonic best friends. You could be polyAMORous and in a monoGAMous relationship. Or you could be polyamorous and in a polygamous relationship.
But for here- for the most part- polyamory relates to romance, sex/intimacy, and romantic relationships.
“Why not just give it a try?” some ask. “What can it hurt?” But it isn’t that simple. Some simply do not desire more romance in their lives– and there is a greater reason, I think, beyond that. It’s terrifying. I read a play called A Doll’s House when I was in college. It made a lasting …
awakening to the “dollhouse moment” Read More »
The funny little ways we perceive love and ourselves. At heart, I am polyamorous– but one can be polyamorous and in a monogamous, polygamous/polyandrous, or any relationship structure of one’s choosing (which would be relationship “anarchy,” not perhaps the best word but the one associated with the term). I believe one ought to be able …
morality of monogamy, polygamy, and relationship anarchy, the Read More »
Six Reasons Why a Person Can be Monogamous From Insecurity to Boredom The idea that it’s impossible to only love one person at a time is a myth. From insecurity to desperation, these are 6 of the most common reasons people can stop falling in love after one person. When my patients ask me this …
if we talked about monogamy like polyamory Read More »
Want Some Guidance on Getting Started? If you wish to be the sort that lives the traditional, vanilla married couple life, you may well get along without much in the way of expectations management. Though I don’t believe it’s ideal, as I see far too many memes of clearly upset wives whose husbands do not …
how to manage expectations in a polyamorous relationship: a general guide Read More »
…it is, I swear. Commitment is such a strange word. Some of us are terrified of it. Some of us believe others are scared of it, or at least tell ourselves that. I keep seeing this myth perpetrated that people are attracted to polyamory because they are “scared of commitment,” which sounds absurd in a …
it’s okay to Commit in polyamorous relationships Read More »
Am I polyamorous? So many ways to interpret the question. Some people want the word to mean anything and everything. Bit frustrating. I got this all the time, as a queer person, when it came to defining bisexuality. Meeting women who said they were bi, but meant, “I like to make out with women in …
“am I polyamorous?”: a fairly foolproof test Read More »
Jealousy is a powerful driver. It can consume and destroy lives. I still remember the oldest munchkin, then age 6, sighing as she shook her head, “Jealousy.” (We were talking about her biological mother, and she brought the word up, not me.) But her mother feels jealousy over her children. I am at a loss …
on shedding sexual (or romantic) ownership Read More »
A reminder of the quote from More Than Two, “Make sure there are no monsters under your bed before you do it, because if there are any weak points in your relationship if there is anything you’re not sure about, if there are any little fears or insecurities you have polyamory will find them it …
further thoughts on “More Than Two”: you’ll never find “all” the monsters Read More »
I heard that promise many times before, but what they meant is they wanted to take the world from me and replace it with them. They didn’t want to give me the world; rather they wanted to hide me from it. They were afraid for me to go out in the world without them. Afraid …
you gave me the world Read More »
Ah, why do we do anything we do? I’m home relaxing this past weekend and watching TV. On my latest obsession, the female lead (Teresa Lisbon) is at home with her boyfriend. He asks her if she wants to watch Casablanca. “It’s about a woman who has to choose between two men.” He pauses a …
real reason I chose polyamory, the Read More »