sensualism, hedonism, & sapiosexuals

Conversation with Kitty and an undisclosed person who may or may not be entirely imaginary, but still…


What do you mean by sensualist, Kitty?

After all, we’re all sensualists. We all savor the senses. But I don’t necessarily mean that when I say sensualist. Throngs of men will say “beautiful!” and “sexy!” in response to a photo. I acknowledge the sentiment, but truthfully I cannot relate. If I cannot smell her, feel her, know her, I cannot tell if she is beautiful. Or attractive, at least. All bodies are beautiful.

Some enjoy rope for the aesthetics. The gorgeous photos. I could care less about photos, for myself. Others for the challenge, or the pain. I do it for the way it feels on my skin; the connection I feel with myself and the person tying. Usually a friend, as I feel less if it is a stranger. If it’s a person I know? I find the picture more fascinating. But it’s cheating a bit, because I know them. I can recall the sensations they stimulated in me.

All the play I do, the wax, fire, electric…is for how it feels. And the more senses I feel, the stronger the senses? The better it is for me. The rest? Objectification, humiliation, aesthetics, pain, etc. Secondary, as far as I’m concerned.

Perhaps it’s related to my sapiosexual nature.

Sapiosexualism is similar.

But, Kitty, aren’t we all sapiosexuals?

Yes, in the sense that we’re generally attracted to intelligence. I mean, few of us are going to say, “I want a stupid woman,” unless we’re some frat boy seeking out a woman deemed low esteem enough to sleep with them.

I say it, for the simple fact I have trouble finding a person attractive without knowing them. A picture is pretty, but there are a million pretty pictures of women. Their particular intelligence is what I find sexy, and after that, it matters little to me what they look like (yes, I have my own shallow preferences).

And hedonism, Kitty?


I do it for the pleasure, not the pain. Not even, “I enjoy the pain,” but rather “It literally feels good to me.” Like eyebrow waxing. I may sound silly, but I love how it feels. It isn’t “Well, the pain is worth it.” Or, “The pain feels good.” No pain.  It just feels good to me.  It feels worse to me to not get waxed. A heaviness on my face. Discomfort.

If it doesn’t feel good, I don’t want to do it. If it feels good, I want more of it. I am simple in this manner.

Sensualism, hedonism. It’s in all of us, but sometimes it’s just a little bit of a different perspective.

Just putting some thoughts out there.

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