Misery is, indeed, miserable company, as I read somewhere. The thought stayed with me for days after. Misery is miserable company. Huh.
I cannot deny that, and yet she isn’t always this way. Not with me. She whispered to me, “Nobody will ever understand you like I understand you. Nobody will ever love you as deeply as I love you.”
Misery charmed the pants off those she tangled in her clutches. Everyone outside of Misery’s machinations felt sorry for the victim, but the victim herself believed they had some sort of conspiracy to deny her Misery’s comfort. “You’re just jealous that she likes me, and not you.”
Misery loved to sit beside me with comfort foods (the kind that weren’t very good for you but who the hell cared?). Misery didn’t judge me, she let me feel as unhappy as I desired. She agreed with me how unfairly I’d been treated and allowed me to indulge in revenge fantasies and pity.
Of course, Misery collected her price. Misery never did anything for free.
Happiness sat patiently waiting. She knew Misery often had the more flashy appeal. Short term, but quite real, or at least it felt real.
…but eventually I, like others, gave up on Misery, because Misery never provided sustanence. Just empty calories and empty feelings. Misery left me feeling worse off than when she arrived.
I gave Happiness a chance instead. She explained to me that I was not wrong to feel the way I did. People are shitty, she said. The world isn’t going to reward your kindness or sweetness, but they will punish you for being soft because they can. That’s the world you live in.
But, she continued, it’s okay. The people that matter will care. And it isn’t about them, anyway, it’s about you. You will feel better, I promise you, if you take me as your friend instead. Who cares that the idiots believe and feel? I matter so much more. I’m here for you, they are not.
Why should I believe you?, I asked almost petulantly. Misery told me the same things. That she was the one that was here for me. That I’d feel better if she was my friend.
I understand, replied Happiness. But she told you she was the only one for you, no? That you could not survive without her. I will never say that. You can live with me or not, but I think you’ll have a more pleasant life with me, that’s all. Besides it’s not only me, there are so many more.
Love. Honesty. Kindness, Generosity, Playfulness, Curiosity. You could have us all as your friends, but we don’t get along too well with Misery. Misery is possessive and jealous. She doesn’t like to share. We just…you sort of have to choose your company, I’m afraid. I don’t mean this as pressure or an ultimatum, but it’s the truth, Happiness shrugs.
…which sort of company do you want in your Life?