on hoarding junk and friends: a reality check

Letting go is hard.

As a self acknowledged hoarder, I understand this. I’m currently staring down two piles of…well, I’m not really sure what. But I told myself I’m not putting this one back in storage. I’m going to address each and every item.; and either put it in its “place” (and, no, back in a moving box in the storage room doesn’t count) or gasp throw it away.

Throwing things away is hard. Look at this. A weird shaped plastic doohickey. I can’t toss this. What if I’m in the kitchen one day and I’m trying to make something– and I find out it’s a crucial component of yet another kitchen appliance I’ve bought and used once? I know me. I use the same five appliances, and I know my routines. But what if I decide to do something different?

So I carefully put the plastic thing in the junk drawer; and when we move again, I’ll scoop up everything in the drawer and put it in a cardboard box which I’ll put in some closet.

Because once you throw it away, it’s GONE. FOREVER. I don’t know how to buy it again if I wanted to; I don’t even know what it is!

It’s so hard to remove a person from your life.

You feel once you do, they’re gone. Forever. It’s difficult enough with junk. A person? No, impossible. What if you regret it for the rest of your life?

Except that’s not how it is with people. People aren’t junk items. You don’t throw them into the trash, never to be seen again.

It’s a crazy world we live in.  Even if you delete them entirely from your phone; they aren’t really gone. You can always, always get in touch with them again. Somehow. If they’re worth it to you.

Or, here’s a thought, maybe you don’t “delete” them.

Maybe you just step back for a while. Adjust the connection. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Not with people. It’s possible they bring you more harm than good in their current state. But there might be a another way. Water is necessary to life, but it can also drown. Maybe the person isn’t toxic to you, but merely the way in which the two of you interact. Maybe.

So you take a step back, or you make an alteration. Or you take a break with an indefinite end. Whatever it takes.

It’s hard to get rid of things, much less people.

Maybe you don’t have to.

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