Never again.
I don’t want to drink poison, hoping it hurts the other person.
I don’t need to donate space in my head to toxic narcissists. Or convince a person who doesn’t understand me that I am, in fact, the wonderful person that my friends and loved ones cherish. I don’t need to pretend I love rainy days (occasionally, yes, but I prefer the cool gray days).
Am I depressed? I’m not sure. I have bad days. Or days where I snap. I am choosing to have these less and less…but I am not so conscientious every day. I can’t lie.
I may not be happy, but I want to be happy.
Which means leaving the past behind, while not forgetting it. I can’t say I’ve mastered this. I try.
I look at the picture perfect lives that surround me. Perfect enough. Nobody lives an Instagram model life. But mine has taught me things I would never have learned without some rainy days.
I think mine is just as good as theirs.
My life is as good. The lives of my friends. Just as wonderful.
…I am learning to be happy. Every day, a little more.