I am not a mathematical person. I cannot tell you if 1+1=2, mathematically speaking. I know there are arguments, apparently both ways, where some say one plus one equals two– and some say it does not. Don’t ask me for the mathematical proof, please. I am, however, a relationship person. In relationships, 1+1=X. I would …
Not everyone needs a dungeon. But not everyone will need a heart surgeon, either. That doesn’t negate the need to keep one around. I love house parties, too. But it’s a whole different atmosphere. They don’t replace dungeons. Perhaps part of the problem is that we don’t understand the value. A few recent events have …
community talks: why i believe we need dungeons Read More »
As the old year winds down and the new year approaches, this is one of my commitments to myself. I feel this is quite a lot, considering I don’t generally like rules. I am breaking my own standard to create a new rule, at least for myself. The Golden Rule: Treat others how YOU want …
ruby rule: when you treat people better than you want to be treated, the Read More »
Kink, I think, is play. What else defines it apart from “vanilla”? After all, kink may not necessarily involve whips, chains, stilettos, or anything the 50 Shades culture associates with kink. Kink, I hope!, is not a means of feeling superior or enlightened. Nor using code words to make others feel disconnected from the conversation. …
free play vs. game play: a distilled approach to kink Read More »
I am not a little. I actually rather looked down on the DD/lg dynamic. I allowed others to encourage me to be dismissive of littles. Littles, brats, ugh. Just grown (usually) women who couldn’t take care of themselves. But as time went on, not only did I make friends with brats and littles, but I …
my life as a “middle,” OR what it means to have “middle tendencies” Read More »
I wanted my next piece to be something fun and light. Then I woke up to this. I saw a writing once where someone wanted to deny that abuse is kink. I am not opposed to that, but I imagine an ideal society where kink would be such an everyday part of society that the …
when abuse is the only kink someone knows Read More »
Okay, so you understand red flags, negative traits, green flags, positive traits. You’ve just met the person. Initially, they do something that sets off your spidey senses. They showed up late to your first date, come on! After that, though, they never show up late again and you live happily ever after. Red flag averted. …
lessons on “green flags”: pt 2: how do you know if it’s real? Read More »
Red flags are fairly straight forward. Things you don’t want. Things to avoid. But sometimes we see a behavior and we are sure it means something terrible- but it turns out it was only a big, old, red flag. This person wasn’t trying to isolate you (red flag of an abuser and predator); they just …
lessons on “green flags”: pt 1: when someone isn’t who you think they are Read More »
Ah, orgasms, the at times elusive, but I believe always desired, goal of our most intimate, combining BOTH mental and physical intimacy, experiences!
I tried to input my code. Thought I’d mistyped it. But, no, it just wouldn’t work. Finally, I checked my phone, and, sure enough, I’d gotten an email asking me if the purchase had been me or fraud.