Hand drawn lettering card. The inscription: be grateful every day. Perfect design for greeting cards, posters, T-shirts, banners, print invitations. By Камилла Хайруллина

thank you, master, for capturing my mind

thank you for capturing my mind

You say my body is a treasure. You touch it as if for the first time, each and every time, savoring the feel, the softness, the warmth. Your body is so warm, how is that possible, you say. You slap it, play with it like it’s a toy. You mark it with red lines and rosy pink splashes of color. At night, it transforms into your teddy bear.

But it is my mind that you desire above all else. My willing submission to your gaze, your tone that commands me to Do. As. You. Say. I am grateful you value my mind above all else. I am touched that you sought it out, even as you claimed my body for the first time. The body caught your eye, but the mind caught all that mattered.

thank you for making me feel loved

I do not lack for love in this little life of mine. Yet my stupid little kitten brain (she can be very smart and intuitive, but oh so dumb, too!) often tells me I am worthless, ignorant, and not deserving of love and respect. That you cannot possibly care for me.

But then you force me to confront reality. To see the love that comes from my family, my friends, my chosen ones, and, especially, from you. Each and every morning to when I fall asleep in the wee hours of the night.

thank you for giving me the world

I promise you that I do not lack in anything you can give me.
I have an abundance of love, affection, dedication, and joy. Sheer, unadulterated joy, giggling as if I were a child but with the confidence (such as it may be) of a woman. I trust that you will never tear me down, but only build me up.

You are there for me, as I had never imagined a person could be. I am your world, as you are mine– of a sort. But there is so much more to this world, and I know that you will never deny me any of it. Particularly the only parts that matter to me. Finding love and connection with fellow human beings.

Thank you for knowing I am a greedy little kitten that does want more– but never calling me selfish nor greedy for that desire.

Thank you for helping me find everything I could want and more. I hope to share it all with you!

A grey kitten peeks out of a heart-shaped hole on a pink background. Design blank for Valentine's Day, greeting card, expression of love. Copy space. By Plutmaverick

why kitty chooses poly, OR, Happy Polyamorous Day!

why i’m polyamorous, in appreciation & acknowledgement of happy polyamory day

I have two reasons. Shall I present the profound reason first, or the…less profound?

The Bus Stop Analogy

Whenever I see someone at the bus stop, I never know what will happen between them and myself. Will they be a fleeting memory, a smile? A lifelong friend? A lover for the night? My next lifetime partner in crime, romantic confidante, and anchor? I don’t know what they want from me, if anything. But I’m always eager to pursue this delightful- unknown but beautiful- person sitting next to me.

The Less Heartfelt Reason

Whenever someone says, “Get you a partner that [insert whatever thing the person posting it likes], I think, “You know, what? I just might!” And I can. Cause poly.

:-p. Enjoy!

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

may your new year bring new joy

Welcome to the new year.

While ringing in the new year surrounded by loved ones, I tossed a note into a fire pit. On this piece of paper, I had written my hopes for my family, chosen and blood. I held hands in a circle with those who cared deeply about me, or at the very least could stand my presence at a social gathering. At one point I balanced a homebaked cookie on my half full- not half empty- wine glass in order to free a hand with which to throw a magical stick into the flames. Life is fairly indulgent when you can do this (and not drop your cookie in the dirt).

I’ve had- I can safely say- a roller coaster year. Yet everyone you ask will tell you that I have had a good year. It’s true. My family has also had a good year. Few good things in life come without a struggle and a price. But what does that matter? The holidays came before I was ready– but my family celebrated and we had every reason to celebrate.

This year is going to be my year. Or maybe next year. But soon.

Let me tell you a trick that ameliorated my worst anxieties. I’d recite a list of good things in my life every night as I fell asleep. I didn’t skip nights. Additionally, I taught myself meditations, yoga, and breathing exercises.

My internal demons are alive and well, but they are fortunately trickster types. None of them are malicious. I don’t begrudge them. In fact, I’m learning to enjoy their antics. They are, after all, a part of me. I’ve decided to love me. All of me. Self-improvement will always be my goal, but I am not going to worry about the fact that I have unpleasant quirks. I am merely going to handle them better than before.

I am not sure if everything will happen as quickly as I hope. It may take another year, even another two years. For the important wishes in my life to wholly come true. But something tells me that good things- very good things- will realize themselves this year.

Please, please let me be intuitive and not crazy.

Guardian angel, please don’t disappoint me. Oh, it’s not your fault, but please let me be right. You’ve done so much for me, but I need a little more from you. Or at least I desperately want it.

I may be overly optimistic. But the last five years have been so tiring. At the very least I think this will be a year that allows for rest and rejuvenation. For everyone I care about. That alone is incredible. I have so many plans, and for the first time I feel confident about executing said plans.

Who knows what further adventures await?!? All I know is that I will share them with you, my friends.

May your new year bring happiness, warmth, love, and safety.

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) from Pexels

whatever you celebrate, happy holidays to you!

I say, “Happy Holidays.” I don’t do this to virtue signal. I don’t do it for ulterior motives, or a way to secretly destroy the Christmas spirit. I say this because I celebrate, well, the holidays. I know, there’s more than one. It’s a radical concept.

It’s a lot faster to say, “Happy Holidays,” than recite every single holiday I personally recognize as I pass a stranger in the mall.

I do love Christmas. It isn’t my favorite, though. My favorites are Thanksgiving and the Winter Solstice. Because of my chosen family, I celebrate the Jewish holidays, as well.

I’m the sort of person that happily takes most excusese to take a day to celebrate and reflect. Yes, even you, Valentine’s Day.

We all have days that are special to us. Even if they are not recognized universally. Maybe you like National Popcorn Day (resists urge to Google if there is a Popcorn Day; you don’t have to Google every single random thought, Kitty).

Let’s take this season to be kind and embracing- as humanly possible, while understanding that cruelty and ignorance need not always be rewarded or forgotten– towards our fellow human and non human friends alike.

Photo by Acharaporn Kamornboonyarush from Pexels

you’re okay, valentine’s day

Dear Valentine’s Day,

First off, I apologize on behalf of the humanity who will inevitably poop all over you.  Is it jealousy that nobody bought them pink chocolates or ruffled cards?  Is it that they can’t celebrate a holiday without involving massive amounts of panic and stress?

Oh, it doesn’t matter.  I apologize for everyone who hates on you, because they taught that a holiday has to be insanely complex thereby making all participants feel a failure.  Or those who think that not honoring you “properly” somehow makes them a failure– and therefore ignore you entirely.

No, you aren’t everyone’s cup of tea.  Some prefer other holidays to you. But you deserve a little love, too.

Valentine’s Day, you want to know a secret? 

I’m not a big anniversary person.  Or a holiday person.  This is how I planned my eight year anniversary with my master.  “Hey, since we’re gonna have some free time around the time we met, can we do a special dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant?”  And he tells me yes.

I didn’t spend a heck of a lot more effort on, you, Valentine’s Day.  The first time I celebrated you was an accident.  

But now? I like you.

I like to make sure that I have a day where I, and the people I care for (or at least the romantic ones!), do something.  Not just chill in the apartment watching a movie.  Something special. 

Something we may not always have time to do.  Plus, with how hectic life is right now, it was the one day this month I had to do anything at all.  You bet I wanted it special.

It’s okay to want to make one or two days a little special. 

Not all of us can afford to make “every day a holiday.”  No, telling us that “we’re always loved” doesn’t cut it.  Yes, I appreciate your little tokens of love, every day.  Yes, I want to show you my love through my consistent words and actions.  Valentine’s Day is how I choose to recognize all that love— not a way of saying, Well, guess all the lovey stuff is done with for the year! 

What comes to your mind?  A special trip out to the city, a box of chocolates?  Flowers, if that is your taste.  Me?  I like to plan a little outing.  A place I haven’t gone to before.  Or maybe a favored place that I’ve not had a chance to visit in a long time.  Or maybe you have something in mind.  I just want a day with people I love.  

It doesn’t have to be super fancy and expensive. 

It doesn’t have to be all day.  It doesn’t even have to be ON the day.  If you celebrate Valentine’s on the weekend, who cares (assuming Valentine’s is the holiday you choose to celebrate)?

Why do people think love is about spending a lot of money?  Do what works for you.  I only started a few years ago, but I started celebrating in small ways.  A series of happenstances that lead to this being important to my one relationship.  So now I celebrate it. 

For you and everyone who honors you,

I raise a cup of hot chocolate with pink heart shaped sprinkles and extra whipped cream.  Feel special.  Today and every day, yes, but if you haven’t felt extra special in a while?  Take today.