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be with me

Be with me,

I want you to be with me, hold me.

Can you do that for me? Will you tell me who you are? Will you tell me what you want?

What makes you happy? Has anyone asked you that before? I hope so.

If not, tell me what makes you happy,

Or tell me anything at all, but I have a condition: It must be something real.

Be my friend,

I don’t need you to tell me everything at once, give me everything at once, you see,

We’re not quite there yet; no intimacy; no trust; none of any consequence, at any rate.

But, please, be open to one day

Telling me who you are, how you feel, and what you want

Be one of my reasons,

As if you were not some fleeting fancy, but a piece of my puzzle, as I am one in yours, you see

We don’t know how long it’ll last, this connection between us,

But it’s okay. Because what we have is beautiful.

You see, you are not “just” anything to me, because I know you and you know me

Or at least I hope we will one day

………..what do you say? Can you do this for me?

___________________________________________________________________________

This is what friendship means to me. Does it mean the same to you?

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i don’t hate you, i love you

hello,

i asked you to go away today,

because I love you

i didn’t want to see you today,

because I love you

i collapsed in tears after you spoke to me,

because I love you

i suppose this is repetitive

a broken record

i will say this as many times as you need to hear it

a broken clock striking right twice a day

i don’t hate you

i don’t hate you

i don’t hate you

i love you

i will always love you

sure, there are days when i want to hate you,

but the truth is i don’t.

when i tell you to go away

it’s because i love you.

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if you seduce me under false pretenses, why, i’m so sorry you troubled yourself

If you seduce me under false pretenses,

Tell me sweet nothings

Hold me through the night

Whisper, I love you

Play games with me (but only the fun kind)

Spend time with me, walk with me

And then, after two weeks, three months, or ten years, to jump out from behind your mask, shouting,

“Hah, fooled you! I was only pretending to be friendly with you so you’d have sex with me!”

Allow me to respond with,

“Thank you for your time, I wish you well.”

Thank you for the sweet nothings.

The sound sleeping through the night.

The loving words.

The fun times we had.

The time we spent together, the brisk walks with oatmilk honey lattes.

And, fuck me, but I enjoyed that, too! Thanks for the orgasms. Don’t feel bad for that being your only motive to giving me everything else you did. I would have spent that month with you for that alone. Just like I bought that game bundle for Hollow Knight. The rest of the games were nothing more than a nice bonus.

I’m not the one who wasted the two weeks, three months, or ten years.

I’m with you, because of this moment, and the one before it, and the one after it. I never count on forever, because forever isn’t promised to anyone. Not by the one that decides these matters, call it God, the spiritural being, or fate.

But, hey, it was nice of you to waste them on me. Though I might suggest you learn your lesson and value your time as more precious than that. Next time, you may not be so lucky as to find someone who appreciates that gift of yours.

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if you give a little a stuffy

If you give a little a stuffy,

she’s going to ask for a big, soft blanket.

If you give her a big, soft blanket,

she’s probably going to want to take a nice nap.

If you let her take a nice nap,

she’s going to want you to tuck her in.

If you go to tuck her in, 

she’s going to ask for a bedtime story, maybe two or three,

so you’ll go get one of your books to read.

She’ll want to see the pictures.

when she sees the pictures,

she’ll probably want to draw one of her own, so you’ll need to get paper and crayons.

When she draws her own picture,

she’ll want to hang it up on the fridge.

looking at the fridge will make her realize she’s hungry, so she’s going to want a snack.

When you find some chocolate chip cookies,

she’ll want a glass of milk to quench her thirst.

When she finishes her chocoate chip cookies and milk,

she’ll be sleepy from gobbling so many cookies,

so she’s going to want a nap.

When she goes to take a nap,

she’ll want her big, soft blanket.

and if she gets her big, soft blanket,

She’s going to want her stuffy, too.

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our many masks

i took off the mask i wore

underneath which was another

and another

the makeup

the filters

the flattering angle

the careful expressions (just kidding, I’m an open book)

but sometimes i do have to think about how my face looks

until you finally get to me

but even then

i have this face, yes, but it’s only one layer

only one of my several masks

i show you what i trust

or what you find relevant

i have so many masks for my different moods,

my different selves

girlfriend

mother

daughter

friend

teacher

therapist

helpful neighbor

writer

creator

sex kitten

playful kitten

and so forth

one day i might show you them all,

my whole collection.

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i love you as antony loved cleopatra

i love you

with the unending undying unbreakable emotions piercing through my being
i love you as antony loved cleopatra
i love the way you swish your hair.


the way you clink your drink against an imaginary glass–
and i know, we just met. like 35 minutes ago.
and, yes, I’ve heard that song— no, please don’t call me.  i don’t think you’re the one i’ve been waiting for, unless, was it you in the women’s restroom earlier? then you might have been the one I was waiting for.
i want to breathe your wisdoms in, talk to you for another 35 minutes. or 24 hours.


while we talk till the morning wakes the rest of the world
while we exchange intimacies over coffee and dunkin donuts
while we love each other, as if we’ll lose each other


because we don’t wonder, we know we will
we’ll forget each other by yesterday

just promise me that in five years, when we stumble upon each other at your favorite jazz club that is also the club that my coworker’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend from middle school is performing at this evening,

we can smile at each other and relight our love