things I could have, the

i could not put a price on the munchkins
but our lawyers, their mother could happily do so,

this is how much it costs to protect your right to live with them, this is how much you must pay to see them, this is how much you must make in order to be allowed to have them in your life, no I don’t care if nobody is hiring, find the money, leave it all behind, nobody cares, why bother, why stay

of course, i could have given them up for so many more things in my life
my life would be simpler, easier
i’d have all the things i could ever want
none of the stress, the worries, the problems
god, if I let myself think about– but no, i cannot

some days i think,
i want a million dollars, five, ten, twenty,
the popularity, the endless platitudes, the paparazzi
i envy the women with dozens of shoes, i want them, too
i want all the possessions they have, that i see, and i am not jealous (mostly), i don’t want to take it away, but i want it for me, too,
and for you, so i can give it to you, everything you’ve ever wanted

i would rather play with penguins than a hundred $200 hair cuts, designer clothes, shoes, luxury lingerie
i would rather curl up with a munchkin at night, playing silly games that make us laugh, i love hearing them laugh more than anything in the world, they have beautiful, ridiculous laughs that sound like waterfalls, babbling brooks, and glass wind chimes, who has laughter that sounds like that?
i would rather have my memories, faulty as they often might be, my lived experiences, my lessons learned, my traditions, some of them built myself, others handed down to me

what does it matter how much money i have, if i didn’t have them to share it with?
and, yes, i’ve given up plenty, but that is my choice, and i wouldn’t change it for the world, not for the biggest mansion, the rarest luxuries

i would rather have love and happiness
a moment of peace in the evening, blanketed in comfort
and how many have that these days?
precious few of us
we are, indeed, lucky, though we may create that luck for ourselves, yet are we still blessed, lucky, and, hopefully, always grateful

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