ugly people aren’t broken or missing pieces

“A full person is always more than the sum of her parts and she is beautiful.”

Someone wrote this on a piece I stumbled upon. I’ve seen the sentiment elsewhere, which is why this stuck with me.

What a lovely thought. A full person, surrounded by friends, love, everything, is beautiful. She may not have perfect features or body, but she is “full.” Her life is full. She has friends, chosen family, etc. Perhaps she volunteers. Certainly, she has plenty of love. How could someone like her not? She is complete, so she must be beautiful.

Unfortunately, I think this too often becomes, “Beautiful people are full [as opposed to ugly people who are broken].”

How many times do we see someone who seems like they’ve got it all together and we immediately project beauty and confidence on them? All I know is that when I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed, I keep seeing videos like this:

A girl envious of this picture perfect couple on Instagram, because she’s “got it all.” In the video, of course it all turns out to be fake, but in real life, she probably does have it all. And so what?

The cruelest, ugliest person I know is as “full” a person as I know.

From the outside, looking in, she has a complete, full life. She has plenty of friends, family, a career, a social life. She isn’t missing anything at all. Her life is good.

She is, by any basic social standards, happy. She has it “all.” Whatever that really means, she has an excess of what a person needs to merely survive.

So, please, don’t tell me that “full people” are “beautiful.”

Sometimes, some of us don’t have that many “parts” to begin with, but that doesn’t affect beauty. Today, she has many “parts.” Tomorrow, she may lose it all. But does that have anything to do with who she is as a person?

I suppose we like to think ugly, cruel people have some deficiency in their minds, bodies, or life. But that isn’t how it works. Because you just don’t know. Maybe that person that seems broken (lost their home, their children, etc.) and missing something has far more beauty about her (or him) than ther perfectly put together person. Maybe the person who has all the pieces of their life fitted together is, in fact, crying and bitter on the inside.

You can’t recognize ugly people by the “wholeness” and “fullness” of their life.

Ugliness has nothing to do with how “full” you are as a person. It has to do with how you use the “fullness” of you. Ugly people are not always easily recognized, like Disney villians with recognizable twisty beards or high pitched voices.

Because whatever a person may be going through, their character and beauty as a person does not change. Perhaps we can stop telling others what “beautiful” people are, or are not, and merely appreciate beauty when we see it.

True beauty isn’t something we need to define. Please don’t tell someone what a beautiful person is or isn’t. Because we don’t need that kind of comparison. We just need to do the best we have with what we’ve got.

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