I won’t pretend I can cover this subject entirely, in a simple writing. But I will try my best to be as extensive as possible when it comes to my concerns.
Our community is, indeed, varied and fascinating. I won’t deny that. Yet, just every so often, I find myself wishing for someone who scratches a particular itch. While I believe wholeheartedly that there is no one person who can do something for you– I do find there are certain kinks/kink providers that are scarce enough to practically be unique when one does find them. And that can be rather problematic…
Even if it weren’t, it’s still nice knowledge to have. Especially for anyone thinking, “But what could I do to stand out? What’s actually needed in the community?” This is for you. Look, some of us know what we want. But I’ve talked to enough newbies to know that some are wanting to learn about new things and these are definitely things we need more people to know about!
“Gentle” dominants.
I’m not talking about daddy doms, or even mommy dommes. I think there are less of the latter than the former, but still, it seems to be common enough. There are plenty of caring dominant partners, regardless of whether they call themselves a daddy or a master or anything else.
No, I mean gentle as in physically gentle. Who aren’t into impact and rope, but possess a preference for mental domination. Aura play, massages, messing with your mind, tying you up with their words.
What I’d really love, too, is more “little” dominants. A dominant who dresses up in cute pink taffeta, spanks you with those tiny little crops. Owns a bag full of purple and glittery floggers, canes, and restrains. Likes to add some flair to their photography. Not a little playing at a top (though that is fine, but I think plenty of them exist in the community), but one who fully identifies in that position, who will be there for you every day, as a little domme, which brings me to my next point….
Lifestyle dommes.
A domme who is willing to guide, mentor, take care of…everything my master does for me. But with a female touch. I specifically say female, because he freely allows his feminine side to come out when it comes to taking care of me, but he is still, at heart, male.
It is, I promise, different with him than what I experienced with other female partners. Please respect that for some of us a male dom is not a replacement for a female domme. I don’t care what your gender is (I personally don’t need you to have a gender at all), but I do feel a difference with someone with mainly masculine vs. mainly feminine energy.
TECHNICALLY skilled kinky performers.
Anyone can tie someone up or spank them. But how many have something to back it up? Sure, it’s fun to just play without a lot of skill– but sometimes you also want to push yourself a bit further in one area and it’s nice to have someone with the skills to push you there! My one friend is a fire artist as well as fire play partner. He actually has knowledge of his kink besides, “Well, this feels right.” Sure, for most of us, this is enough. You don’t always need much academic and applied knowledge to provide satisfactory pleasure.
Especially those willing/wanting to throw themselves wholeheartedly into one area, to be the BEST at their “thing” in their area, rather than another jack of all trades (and again, if that’s your deal, cool, but also there are plenty of people like that).
Not to mention it feels, to me, that there are quite a few people who are into edge play that involves additional risk. Risk that cannot be mitigated by simple, “Hmm, this is probably fine if it feels good.” Or people like myself with lower risk tolerance who would like the extra reassurance of someone whose playful fun matches their technical knowledge.
So what do you say?
Please don’t be offended. This is merely a plea to those who might be interested in some of the…supply problems. Who might be open to help filling the demand. Who wonder how they can get involved, be part of the community.
People who don’t know what to try out or where to get started. Who might find out that they really love something that they hadn’t even thought of, because nobody told them it was a “thing.”
And if you ARE one of these roles (especially if this is your primary role or one of them)? PLEASE be vocal and say something here!