Welcome, gentle reader.

“Always such warmth in your words.”

Should my words not be your cup of tea today, feel free to move along. I understand my views are not for everyone.

…but someone wrote this to me. They told me how much my words meant to them. I assured them theirs touched me, as well.

I write beyond the basic knowledge topics on Relationships and Love. There are plenty of excellent writers that have already saturated those topics on general relationships, and even polyamory and ethical non monogamy, such as “What is a unicorn hunter?” (If you don’t know the basic arguments against unicorn hunting, look it up, I’m not going to write the hundred thousandth piece on that.)  My writings are focused on what happens after you understand the essentials on “What to Do and Not Do as a Unicorn Hunter,” and want to understand more.  E.g. “When Unicorns Are Unicorn Hunters” or “Translating Your Unicorn Into A Shooting Star,” which explains some of the complications and realities of unicorn hunting when it’s more than just a straight couple seeking a bi female.  

“Don’t unicorn hunt, date separately!” was never helpful to me– I already understood you couldn’t date together to simply avoid jealousy or emotions, but I didn’t want to date separately.  I wanted to play separately; have separate friends; have my own “me” time; but I wasn’t interested in an intense, romantic, emotional relationship that took me away from my main life.  I would rather have “only” one main, romantic person, or have three or four people, myself included, that all loved and lived together.  I knew I would never find that life with the same five articles on polyamory I read time and time again.  I needed more.  I thought, perhaps others were like me, and needed more than the usual responses.  

Everything I speak of, I learned through experience, or through a trusted person’s experience. I’m a good partner, a good mother, and a good friend. But not because I inherently know these things (nobody does!), but because I’ve slowly and steadily tried things and figured out what works for me and what doesn’t. Things that don’t work only for me, but for anyone. Things like, If you want a strong relationship, you’ve got to talk to the person. COMMUNICATE. Not just throw words at the other person, but two more people that express thoughts shared back and forth.

Am I everyone’s cup of tea?  Nope, but I am someone’s shot of whiskey.  I ask you to please respect that.

I write unabashedly as a polyamorous, submissive, playful Kitty. I believe some of us need to hear this, that it is absolutely okay to be ourselves, without apology, without disclaimer. I believe every person that practices something a little different from the “norm,” should have a place they feel heard and seen. Every monogamous couple is afforded this privilege, and those who practice less common lifestyles should be afforded the same. There aren’t enough kinky and polyamorous writers (and certainly not enough that are both!)

Thank you to every kind friend and stranger who sees my words and is touched by them. I hope I never lose my fire within. I hope my words never feel dull or uninspired in any way.

Thank you!