why I write

Welcome, gentle reader.

I hope my words speak to you. If my words do not speak to you, they may not be for you. Someone else out there hears the same words and feels less alone— and they are the reason I write.  

“What is unicorn hunting?” “How do I meet a third?” “What does is the difference between open relationships and polyamory?”  I am not ragging on people new to these lifestyles.  We need those resources.  But there are plenty of newbie resources already.  If you are seeking that, you might want to move elsewhere.  There are some very good, popular resources when it comes to those questions.

I’d prefer to share something a little more straightforward and more interesting for myself.

Which, simply put, is sharing my stories and others’ stories.  Can’t say they’ll fit your own life, but the general principles apply.

And I promise to do my best not to write pretentiously about How Things Should Be, but more of How Things Are.

People talk about polyamory, sometimes, as if they have some special, inherent enlightenment about How Relationships Work. I don’t know about that. I just know what works for me, and I want to share it.

I don’t know everything that works, but I refuse to share idealistic fantasies that very much do not work. What I share is transparent and honest (even if it sometimes sounds unbelievable, I promise I don’t lie here!)

And I like to think it’s a bit refreshing to see a resource that portrays Life In A Positive Manner That Doesn’t Resort To Toxic Positivity.  No passive aggressive articles on what it’s like to be kinky, poly, parent figure, etc.  No justification.  Being a kinky, poly, friendmom has been AWESOME for me, and if it sounds pompous to say so, so be it.

Everything I speak of, I learned through experience. I’m a good partner, a good mother, and a good friend. But that’s only because I’ve actually tried things and figured out a lot of what works and what doesn’t. Things like, If you want a good relationship, you’ve got to actually TALK to the person. COMMUNICATE. Not just throw words back and forth. God, I cannot count the number of plots I’ve stumbled on that are literally, “Two or more people can’t talk and so shit happens. Then they do and the shit mostly stops. The end.” Nope, done with that!

Am I everyone’s cup of tea?  Nope, but I am someone’s shot of whiskey.  I ask you to please respect that.

I write unabashedly as a polyamorous, submissive, playful Kitty. I believe some of us need to hear this, that it is absolutely okay to be ourselves, without apology, without disclaimer. Every monogamous couple is afforded this privilege, and those who practice less common lifestyles should be afforded the same.

We are not cookie cutter people.  But if you want a cookie, you’ve got to master a few techniques.  You need to know what makes up a cookie.  Eggs, butter, flour.  You can substitute, yes, but you need to know what you’re substituting FOR.  You can bake it or come up with a “no bake” version. But, essentially, cookies are cookies.  And relationships are relationships.

At least that is my view.

Engage with me and I will stay respectful and courteous. Disrespect me, and I will put you aside. I won’t tell you what is right or wrong, because I don’t believe that is helpful. Life isn’t right or wrong; it is only choices that will make your life easier or harder, or make certain realities more or less possible. Of course you need to know what you want. Or else any choice will serve to get you somewhere.

Follow along, if you like, because I’ve had quite a bit of fun in the journey! If my words have impact on you, please step up and support me in tangible ways. You can help me by following or donating HERE. Or buying one of my books (I try to make them affordable so that all can have access). This helps me continue to write and increases visibility!