what would you do if i fell in love with someone else?

ask your partner what they would do if you fell in love with someone else

          on that first date, lying on the grass in the park

          before they know they are “polyamorous”

          even if you have a closed relationship

(because feelings don’t listen to borders)

ask them before you have a child together, ask them before you get married, what would happen if I fell in love

          with someone else

          with my no strings attached, sex only playmate

          with my platonic best friend

would you leave me if i told you i loved another

          if i said i loved them more than a friend

          if i said i might love them as much as you

          if i said i loved them more than you

would you work with me to put our child first, even if we could not make it work between us, if you and i grow apart

neither of us wrong, but neither of us right for each other

sometimes it happens

sometimes it’s not about the “right” answer

          but just knowing what the answer is

would you be jealous of my love for our child, if i said I loved them

         more than anything in the world.

if i fell in love with my best friend, do you call that cheating

if they react with anger, fear

          if they say, i can’t believe you’re even asking me that

how could you believe i would be like that?

          i won’t even deign to answer the question

then you probably have your answer

because i cannot promise forever, but i can give you my word

i can trust that you will give me yours

i talked to a woman the other day who left the father of her child

          for ten years

ten years that the child did not have their mother and father by their side

because the father took ten years to overcome his jealousy of his wife’s love for their child

some people have said to me, 

          i can’t believe that happened

          that people are like that

i’ve known it to happen in three different families

          and that’s not exactly the kind of thing people freely talk about

          so god knows how often it really happens

(the jealousy of one parent over the other parent’s love for their child and the child’s love for the parent that isn’t them)

and i’m not even saying any of this was anyone’s fault

          but i know it happened

look, i know that it isn’t always easy

          and some hardships are avoidable, and, yes, 

          you can’t avoid everything

          you can’t know the future

but please ask the questions

      because if they can’t even handle being asked the question

          what on earth will they do when faced with the reality?

2 thoughts on “what would you do if i fell in love with someone else?”

  1. Beautiful piece. “Because feelings don’t listen to borders” really resonates with me. If ever I heard a succinct yer abstract definition of polyamory, this is it.

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