Have weird guilt fetish and want to confess to something I didn’t do, to keep a partner I’m not sure I really want…Help!

Dear Kitty,

Soon after my boyfriend had moved into my apartment with me, our relationship started to go down hill, and I realized I didn’t want to be with him.

When the pandemic hit, I was still working in the office. I would come home to my partner drunk. He never cleaned and disrespected my home.
After plenty of arguments I couldn’t take it anymore and screamed, “I’m done.” My boyfriend was drunk at the time, and he packed up all of his things and left.
Following this altercation, we talked it over and decided to live apart for awhile.
Two months went by with barely any communication and no face-to-face contact at all.
One night, after lockdown restrictions eased in my area, I went out drinking, blacked out, and woke up next to someone in my bed. I knew I wanted the attention I wasn’t receiving from my estranged partner.

Since then, I realized I don’t want to be with anyone but my partner. I regret what I did and feel guilty all of the time, especially now that we’ve rekindled our relationship.
I’m not sure whether to tell him what happened, or if it’s even considered cheating. This is the first time I’ve ever been unfaithful and it hurts to know I did this to myself and someone else.
Do I tell my partner I cheated?



Dear Ohio,

If you enjoy confessing to mistakes you didn’t make (to avoid dealing with things you’ve actually done wrong?), then, sure. Tell him you cheated. I don’t know why, since you didn’t, but you can do whatever pleases you.

That being said, perhaps you want to talk about the actual issue? Getting together with a partner with whom you had clear and specific issues, because, what? You got lonely during the pandemic? He seemed better than the profiles on the online dating apps you signed up for?

I realize you think he’s now “the perfect one,” after a brief separation. But you’ve said nothing about how things have changed. Is he still moping around, drunk, leaving your home in a mess?

If not, maybe you should worry less about your “cheating” and more about whether this is just gonna turn into a downward spiraling Taylor Swift song? Just a thought.

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