raging against the storm


We’ve been fighting for, God, six years now? Longer? I’ve forgotten what we’re even fighting about. But She has not.

I felt sure she’d give up by now, if not out of sheer boredom. But she’s been surprisingly resilient. Still stuck in her own story. I cannot explain her, not anymore. I can only watch. And make popcorn. Popcorn helps.

By this point, her resilient delusional force is actually beneficial to our side. She’s started making decisions to definitively ease our lives for the next five years. Of course she’s helping herself for a few weeks, but it doesn’t currently make anything harder for us. And it will make life vastly easier, very, very soon.

It’s impressive, by now.

She’s gotten none of what she wants, and lost a good deal of what she already had. But…she keeps going! Keeps digging further into her hole. It’s not easy, either, it’s draining work. Yet she persists.

I think, now, that I’ll let her. Not that I really have any influence, but I don’t think I’ll even try. Just let her keep going and going…if nothing else, it’s a valid social experiment. I can observe and take notes. I wouldn’t make any other poor soul go through it, but her? Sure. Good knowledge to have. I can help others, too.

It’s a funny thing to watch.

I don’t know why people love to be trapped in their own narratives. It’s something I really don’t comprehend. Perhaps it’s that I’ve never really had one of my own, no story that I believed in that much.. I’ve had rough ideas that I’m in the right place, the right direction, and with the right people. But I never really know what I’m doing. I just feel I’m..alright. I keep moving, yes, but shifting. Sometimes I pause. I ask others. Sometimes I outright just nap.

But she? She is so sure, it’s…fascinating! Never once stopping, nor slowing down.
She knows exactly who she is and what she is doing, reality be damned! It doesn’t matter what happens around her. She moves forward in the same direction, whether it’s a beautiful sunny day or pouring hail and sleet. And she wears the same shoes for it all!

Ah, well. I suppose I ought to sit back and relax. Enjoy the–oh, wait! I need more popcorn!

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