if they offer you “almost everything,” take it

Some women swoon over a man who says he will give her “everything.”  I swoon over the man who says he will give me “almost everything.”

I’m more likely to mock you than kiss you for saying, “You are my goddess for all eternity, your breasts are divine and your legs are the most perfect I’ve ever seen.”  Please. 

You wouldn’t recognize my legs over another pretty girl’s if twenty thousand dollars lay on the line.    

“Almost everything.”

In Bohemian Rhapsody, Freddie offers Mary Austin “almost everything.” I think he meant everything but romance. Marriage. Perhaps even sex.

I wonder about their relationship. Mary, his first love, is still alive. I could theoretically ask her. All I know is that she remained his friend, even after she married someone else. She stayed in his life. Upon his death, she received half of his 75 million pound estate. Pretty generous for “just” a friend.

Offer me “everything,” and I will demand “everything.”

If you offer me everything, you better damn well mean it. I don’t mean it as code for marriage, engagement rings, and a dozen red roses. I mean, everything.

Buy me a home in every city I love. Filled with everything I could ever want or use. I want crafted coffees delivered to me every afternoon. Buy me all the clothes. Give me a life where I don’t have to go outside, except when I want to do so.  And, and…oh, this is already too much for you?

Then stop fucking blowing hot air up my ass and tell me what you really mean. “Almost everything.” I believe you mean that. That’s what I want.

“Almost everything” is incredibly generous.

I’m not going to drain myself, physically, financially, or emotionally, to prove my love. If you need that from me, move on. I have partners, family, dependents. Heck, I have myself to take care of, you know. You can’t get everything from me.  But less than “everything” is a far cry from “nothing.”

My partner, M, offered me “almost everything.” Funny, because, over time, “almost everything” crept closer and closer to “everything. Like a limit approaching zero, but not quite every reaching zero (although obviously zero here does not represent “nothing.”)

Hell, give me one thing!

I want a great deal.  But perhaps not from you?  Can we start with just a little? Basic human courtesy and kindness. It’s surprising how few people can manage even that. Do you know what it means to me when you, a stranger, stop and take the time to say, “Hello. How are you feeling today?” and listen to what I say?

I don’t need or want a white knight or fancy, empty promises. It’s too easy to say words that sound great, but don’t mean anything.

Give me one real thing. One real, beautiful thing about you and me. That is worth us giving up everything else, in that moment, to share that moment. And many moments to come.

One genuine thing is more than most have ever given me.

1 thought on “if they offer you “almost everything,” take it”

  1. This is beautifully written. I am actually almost in tears, dear. Thank you for expressing yourself and these thoughts with such poise and grace.

    I fully agree, and as cheesy as it sounds, what came to my head was “I Would Do Anything for Love”.

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