chocolate ice cream, kink, & sex

Sorry, this post isn’t about sexy escapades with chocolate ice cream. That might be for another day. Nope. This is another in “Kitty Explains Thru Chocolate.”


Chocolate is a flavor. Kink is a flavor.

Ice Cream

Ice cream is a thing. Sex is also a thing. (Now I could switch it around and say that chocolate is a thing and kink is a thing. Which could also work. But I’m just mulling over a possible analogy here…)

Chocolate Ice Cream

You can have either chocolate or ice cream. Or both. Or you could combine chocolate and ice cream into chocolate ice cream (plain ice cream, by the way, isn’t a flavor. Vanilla is actually added to make plain ice cream into vanilla ice cream. Something I might not have realized until I was a little older than I should have been).

Perhaps you might go so far as to say that chocolate gelato– oooh, how fancy!– is the only ‘real’ ice cream. The only acceptable frozen delicacy for your palate. Maybe the speculation of any other frozen crème is utterly abhorrent.

Nevertheless, ice cream is still ice cream to the majority of the population, even if it’s strawberry flavored.

So, are kink and sex the same thing?

I’ve heard this question before. My reply?

“Are chocolate and ice cream the same thing?”

They are related. They -could- be the same thing (i.e. chocolate ice cream.) But the existence of chocolate ice cream doesn’t erase the reality of chocolate and ice cream as their own separate identities. Not even if you’re the type that only recognizes chocolate OR ice cream in the form of the aforementioned chocolate ice cream. It is your right to take your own personal stand on chocolate ice cream, but that doesn’t change reality for everyone else.

Similarly, I could have a kinky play date without sex*. I could have sex without kinky elements. I could do both together. I could only have kinky sex, and never have vanilla sex. I can combine the two in an infinite number of ways, presumably. Of course, I would be doing this for science.

Allow me to reiterate:

Chocolate and ice cream are two different things. Kink and sex are two different things. Please do not assume you -know- how someone wishes the two combined (if at all).

Some people might only enjoy each thing (kink & sex) when the two are combined. Some may enjoy each separately, or only indulge in one or the other. Some people may have their preferences change over time, or simply depending on their current mood.

Just like how a person might enjoy chocolate, ice cream, and/or chocolate ice cream. Enjoying chocolate, but not chocolate ice cream, might be a rarity among consumers of ice cream and chocolate. But that does not make it an impossibility.

Perhaps this is oversimplifying the matter. But if this analogy helps you, feel free to use it as you see fit. Better yet? Extend the analogy. “Well, sex for me is the scoop of vanilla in a sundae…and the kink is all the toppings, etc. etc.” I wanted to keep this -relatively- short, and, ummm, sweet.

Anyway, that’s Kitty’s thoughts on this, hopefully, tasty topic!


*Sex defined here as anything involving genitals and genital play. Oral sex would be sex. Spanking with implements would NOT be sex, even though many consider it sexual. If we’re defining sex as anything sexual at all, and kink as a form of sexual activity, then, yes, they probably would be the same thing.

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