fake relationships are actually quite satisfying

I think I want a fake relationship.

Or I don’t. Or I do? I know that every time I hear about a “real” relationship, teensy shivers flee up and down my spine. A “real” mom? A “real” love of my life? Ugh. I know what “real” mothers, “real” boyfriends, “real” girlfriends, etc are like. I want none of that.

Truth is, if you require a “real” relationship, I’m likely not for you.

Real relationships are neat and tidy.

I think I rather like my “mess of a relationship.” Real relationships have plenty of rules to make sure it all goes to plan. I like knowing what’s going to happen, but somehow, even in my fake relationships, I manage to have a decent sense of what the future holds. Even without bothering with a lot of rules or labels. Crazy, I know.

Real relationships mean you’ve gotta have feelings before you hookup.

Because relationships that primarily revolve around sex and physical intimacy aren’t “real.” They’re, uh, something else. Like maybe imaginary? Sorry, I’m having a bit of trouble concentrating. Excuse me while I meet up with my very lovely toy (who also, as it happens, possesses an utterly sexy brain).

Real relationships have super terrifying emotional feelings.

Well, who doesn’t want to be terrified all the time? Sounds great. Except I do like my playmates. Am I breaking the fake relationship rules by actually liking them after we hooked up the first time? Oops.

Real relationships mean you are never lonely.

Ah, yes, my friends in real relationships with labels and societally approved contracts are never, ever lonely. Slapping a label on the relationship improves any relationship. Actually, that sounds pretty good. Maybe sign me up after all?

Or maybe not.

Truthfully, I love my “fake” relationships.

Perhaps my physical-based relationships don’t take quite the same priority as my emotionally involved relationships- but my romantic partners are equally respectful of my time with playmates and my time with them.

Because they, and I, know where we came from– from being “just” friends or “just” playmates. Funny how these are my most trusted people. I value my relationships, regardless of their “validity.” My relationship with my (currently only) primary to whom I’m not married. The children to whom I have no legal ties. The “just friends” that I play with and confide my feelings towards. The persons in my life that I share no labels with, but I do share my time and emotional burdens (as they share with me).

When I look around at “real” relationships that have imploded and caused insane amounts of heartache and pain, it’s a turn off. Oh, I want those lifelong, “real” relationships! I just don’t care what they are called. And if that’s what’s most important to you, we’re unlikely to be very compatible. Because I’m good with fake relationships. Or what others might call fake relationships.

I’m never giving them up, nor valuing them an iota less than I do at this moment.

They are pretty real to me.

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