domme you may not have heard about, the

I’ve not met her, my “perfect” domme. I confess my tastes and standards are specific. Not only is my life rather difficult to match up with- something which is hardly any domme’s fault- I seek “lifestyle” dom(me)s, rather than professional. While lifestyle doms seem to get plenty of attention, it feels as lifestyle dommes get pushed to the side, in favor of the Dominatrix. A fair choice, but not the only kind of domme that exists.

I’ve written a piece on my frustrations regarding the utter domination of the Dominatrix in the media, which I will share in the near future. But, for now, I’d like to speak about more uplifting thoughts on what I- and I believe many others- crave in a female Dominant. For those of us, especially, that solely practice D/s or M/s in a relationship where proper trust has been built (understanding that others practice D/s in different ways).

...I recently stumbled on this story of a woman that made me swoon.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

That night, she had bathed me, collared me, beaten me, dressed me, and done my makeup before we were headed to a party. “My little doll,” she called me. And still, this moment in my car was the most submissive I’d felt all night. In fact, it was the most submissive I’d felt in our relationship so far.

Up to this point, she felt like my girlfriend who topped me, but not my Dominant. But this time, it wasn’t about play. It wasn’t an area where we discussed in advance and I’d explicitly given her control. It came out of her desire to protect me. It was the first time she took control because she felt responsible for me—not as part of a scene but in everyday life.

Reposted this section with permission from guest blogger: kneelingwaiting

She reminds me of my own master, but with a feminine touch. Caring, gentle, nurturing. At the end of the day, I must be accountable for myself. But he cares for me, as a feeling and as a verb. He is now my standard for a dom. Tie me with rope, beat me with a paddle, or transfix me with your words. Be there for me every moment of every day. Or only when I request an audience with you– and you are inclined to grant my desire. But always be considerate of me as a human being.

She will not only be lovely, but will fit my schedule, lifestyle, and interests.

She will taunt my skin, bestowing on me the hint of pain, without breaking my boundaries.

She will be kind, nurturing, and supportive.

She will demand tasks of me, but she will have proven herself worthy before asking.

She will ensure it is a true exchange, not simply using me as a means of fulfilling her whims.

She will ask me about my day, before she asks if I’ve accomplished her bidding.

She will not let me off easily, if I fail her.

Thanks, my friend, for sharing her perspective!

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