i wanted to love you

the beauty of illusion,

silly, silly kitten

I thought being in love with you would be marvelous. Drifting to sleep in your arms. Waking up with your kisses.

I exist to love,  honor, and obey.  He said, Love her, so I did.

He said, forget her, but I slipped.  I thought of memories, sweet words that turned sour, but sweet when they first entered my mouth

I slip a little,  I think I’m going to fall–

— but, no.

A stranger sees me shake, puts her hand on me.  She is kind. She engages me in silly, stupid conversation.  It makes me feel better.

I do not need you.  You, who only exist to put me down.

I think I am falling back into my old ways, sometimes, but each day I am ever so slightly better than the forgotten day

I am so much more than a yesterday

With or without you.

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