Life with a kitten poses a series of strange, but manageable dilemmas…
M: I’m gonna download a few episodes of Lucifer to prepare for the flight.
Me: I am going to prepare for sleep time on the flight. Otherwise known as most of the time.
M: I think we should call it kittentime.
Me: Cats need like 20 hours of sleep a day. That’s science. Do you understand how science works???
M: Probably better than you do.
Me: Fair enough.
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M: Move off to your side of the bed, Kitten.
Me: I am on my side. I’m on half the bed…granted, it’s the top half.
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Me (playing my game): Oh, my God, my helm is amazing!
Him: Is that a satellite dish on your head?
Me: Yes!
Him: What information is it relaying?
Me: You know. From the mothership.
Him: The mothership, huh?
Me: Yeah. Probably.
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Me (passing through a hallway full of cat pictures): And there’s another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one. And another one….
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Me (calling downstairs to Master): Kitten is making the bed!
Him: I’ll bring up extra pillows for me.
Me (sprawled on a heap of four pillows, under a mass of blankets): Wise decision!
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Me: Are we going out?
Him: Are we? (looks at me)
Me (wearing only a skirt): I put on clothes! Well…clothe.
Him: Not bad for a Kitten.
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Him: Woah.
Me: What?
Him: You’re on your side of the bed.
Me: (moves to jump to his side, but master is already lying down) Okay. You win this time.
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Him: Ok, Kitten, time to get up.
Me: Mmmmmm.
Him: Come on, Kitten.
Me: ……
Him: Kitten, up!
Me: I’m up! …I was looking at this. (holds up the Book on Obedience)