She’s always there for me,
Or, at any rate, she always is on top of my love life. Making sure I get what I need. At least that’s what I tell myself. It’s most definitely a need, not a want. “Want” sounds so….unnecessary. Everyone needs to be used until they fall down in a pile of exhaustion, right? okay, maybe I’m a little spoiled, but I want us all to be!
Lately, though, I’m starting to question her a little bit. She’s always been a bit of a prankster. I sense the smirk on her face when it all turns out in a job well done. Typical sadist; she enjoys her work. Especially because her plans mostly succeed. Her plots result in, well, results. But–
–it comes at a price. Which often seems to be me that pays it.
I wonder if she doesn’t take the slightest bit advantage of her power over me to achieve whatever it is she means to carry out. Inflicting a certain, but necessary, amount of emotional pain. Oh, did I mention she’s an emotional Sadist?
Ah, well, it’s not so bad. She’s kind, after, she soothes me and tells me I’ll be okay. But she is willing to put me through quite a lot, in pursuit of a higher good. And, dear God, but I am glad of what she’s made possible through me! Beyond grateful, truth be told.
I’m not sure how I feel about this. But I am a good, owned Submissive (by my master or by a higher power), and I shall let myself be used. Properly. So long as I am taken care of afterward.