People say a lot of things.
They say, er, some say, resentment is drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. I’ve gotta listen to that one. I don’t want to drink poison. I just want to feel whole and good.
I need to stop the following: Donating space in my head to toxic narcissists. Convincing some random, ignorant person that I am, in fact, a wonderful person. Worrying about problems I cannot solve. Pretending I love things that I do not. I do not, for example, love rainy days or blinding bright rooftop pools (my preference is cloudy days and Vegas pools in the summer after sunset, if you care to know).
I have more important things to worry about. So do you.
Am I happy? Depressed? Anxious? I can’t self diagnose. I have bad days. Days where I snap. I choose to have these less often…and then even less often…but I am not so conscientious every day. I am not always happy, but I want to be happy.
Which means leaving the past behind, while not forgetting it.
Have I mastered this? All I can say is I try. I glance past the picture perfect lives that surround me. Nobody lives an Instagram model life. But mine has taught me things for which I am grateful.
I think my life is as good as any other.
…I am learning to be happy.
Every day, a little more.
Thanks to the wonderful friends and chosen family that support and love me