She had the perfect plan.
Narcissists do have a plan, you know. I want you to know that you are not crazy. When it feels like you’re being pulled along this insane journey. You are. She had a plan. They always have a plan.
It wasn’t a very good plan. You might wonder, too, if they planned it, why were they so bad at it? Well, narcissists are just people, too, you know. They don’t always know what they’re doing.
The funny thing is sometimes their plan works. But plans have a funny way of “working” in a way you didn’t think of. Just ask anyone who’s ever rubbed a genie’s lamp.
I admired her ability to plan.
I can’t, but damn if she could brilliantly! I don’t know why she did it, but I admire her. I can’t tell if she likes any part of her carefully engineered life, but that’s not my problem. Her house isn’t that great. The schools are okay. It’s not really convenient for her work (it is for her husband, though, maybe his needs are more important to her than her own?). Her kids chose to move away from her, as the schools, organizations, etc near their father better matched their educational needs and their extracurricular desires. Plus their best friends from their earliest childhoods live very far away from their mother. The courts didn’t agree, of course, but they still tried. And now they live half in one life, and half in hers. Half in hers is better than always in hers, in their opinion.
They’re happy enough. She’s not. That’s okay.
You aren’t responsible for a narcissist’s happiness.
I can worry, or leave her be and live my own life.
I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.
I choose to be happy.
What do you choose for yourself? Think about that, and sleep well.