On Life & Love

don’t love yourself? try loving someone else

(Reposted from an earlier writing I abandoned for a bit. Inspired to share again by a fellow kinkster, @LovelyLolaTX) “If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else.” “If you don’t love you, why would anyone else?” “Learn to love yourself if you want someone to love you.” I don’t buy it. Not because …

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TINY problem with unsolicited dick pics, the

Look, I know what you want to say. “But women do the same thing! Women love showing off their bodies!” You aren’t wrong, entirely. You aren’t entirely right, either. I’m sorry for the shorthand terminology associated with unwanted dick pictures. It really isn’t about the “unsolicited.” At least not primarily. I get “unsolicited pussy pics” …

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mutual questionnaire when beginning a relationship: romance edition

Questions When Beginning A Relationship (Romantic) A Living Document Love Languages:  What does love mean to you?  Look like?  How do you give and receive romantic love? References: What are your “people” like? Your closest friends? Chosen family? Who might I run into at munches? Tell me about them. What would they say about you? Can I …

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living in a heterosexual relationship, as a bisexual being: part two: the murmur of “noise”

There’s a lot of noise and confusion as you come into your own, as a queer person. For context, I have at least one child who is going through an active period of questioning and evolving her sexuality. At twelve, she’s already dealing with her own “noise.”  Is she confused?  Not really.  Not anymore than …

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living in a heterosexual relationship, as a bisexual being: part one: on being “enough”

… can be exhausting. Justifying. Explaining. Listening to second hand lies. Of what or who I am, according to those who haven’t bothered to ask me. I am not queer enough. I am not attracted to enough bodies (why can’t you be pansexual?).  Not loving enough, etc. etc. I live with a man, I play …

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